Tag Archives: Understanding

Understanding Takes Time (So Relax)

Can you think back to a time in your life when you thought, “I wish I knew THEN what I know NOW?” Or, “What was I THINKING when I did THAT?”

The person who invents a working crystal ball would make a killing on Shark Tank. (Mr. Wonderful would never call it poo-poo on a stick.)

But would we really want to know everything before it plays out?

I did what I did (and you did what you did) working with what I knew at the time.

As my favorite Maya Angelou quote goes, “When you know better, you DO better.”

Oh how I wish I understood that my time in high school would have been better spent studying or participating in activities rather than hiding from cliques and crushing on boys who never gave me the time of day.

If I understood that my time in college would rush by, hoisting me into the working world for the REST OF MY LIFE, would I not have savored it more? Instead, I finished in 3.5 years so I could get out there and start making a living. (Which was $75 a WEEK at the local cable TV station.)

Would I have taken the QVC job had I known I’d be laid off less than half a year later?

Or would I have joined that church if I had known it would be a destructive cult?

Would I have married my ex if I knew fourteen years later the marriage would end?

Well, in a way I’m glad I didn’t have a crystal ball. Because there’s no more captivating entry on my resume than that QVC experience. I made the best friends of my life – to this DAY – in that church. And my ex and our journey together got me to where I am now, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Time offers clarity of perspective sans the pain of the experience.

No, we wouldn’t have chosen some of the pain, but it sure was used for GOOD, ultimately.

What I do understand is that all things work together for good, aka, “Everything’s always working out for me.”

I bemoaned to a counselor once, “What about all the wasted years??? Is it too late for me???”

Her reply: “What was wasted if you learned from it? And while you have breath, is it ever too late?”

Some of you may be going through stuff you simply can’t understand right now. Give it time. Clarity, and with it, understanding, will come.

And in the meantime, look back over your shoulder and consider the mountains you’ve climbed; the dark tunnels that eventually flooded with light – and know that this, too, shall pass.

https://youtu.be/OKiV59jZNOM

How lovely that in this two week span that includes Valentine’s Day, the angels are asking you to consider BEAUTY. I’m looking forward to digging into that word over the next two weeks.

Until then,

LOVE, LOVE and more LOVE –

Brenda

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Understanding and Knowledge (& the New WOW)

This past couple of weeks I’ve been studying a subject about which I truly need knowledge.

I liken to process to pulling a thread from a sweater and watching it unravel. Just when I complete one webinar on the topic, it ends up raising ten other questions  needing answers.  Which results in signing up for another five webinars, all of which end in a sales pitch with the goal to get my credit card out and sign up for their advanced courses.

I’m gaining knowledge, yes.

But I want to make the leap to UNDERSTANDING. Until that bridge is crossed, information is simply overwhelming.

When facts and knowledge overload my mind, I stop feeling the joy and excitement of the original idea.  It doesn’t feel good.

My original idea (brilliant, but requiring knowledge to execute) literally descended on me as I was walking on the pretty Ringling Bridge on Memorial Day morning.  It dropped into my mind like a gift.  Without angst! Without even trying! Inspiration filled my heart and ideas flowed. Doors opened; resources came to me like a moth to a flame.

You know that feeling when you know you’re on to something?  At that beautiful stage when you haven’t tried to figure out HOW it’ll get done – you just have a clear vision of its awesomeness upon completion?

Maintaining that initial vibe while filling in the gaps of knowledge has been the challenge.

Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE to learn.  But even more, I love to ACT.  And until understanding comes, I don’t have a green light in my heart to take action.

Understanding is the green light in your heart that says, “Aha!  You’ve got it.  Go for it.”

Understanding is also the red light in your heart that whispers, “Don’t you dare get out that credit card.”

This past year has all been about allowing myself to feel my feelings and learning to NEVER underestimate them.  Our feelings are guideposts, indicating our connection (or lack of) connection to SOURCE (God, Spirit, The Force – however you wish to refer to the Divine.)

Or as they said in the 60’s, “If it feels good, do it.”

The completed vision?  Feels amazing.

It’s the ruminating on the gaps between start and finish that try to trip us up.

Many of us dream dreams, but we focus on how far from manifesting they seem.

We seek relationships or financial freedom or weight loss, and we mull over how elusive these desires appear to be. 

All of which only focuses on the LACK.  And what you focus on is what you (and I) ATTRACT.

In other words, keep complaining about it, and you’ll keep having it (or not having it.)

So what do we do because we DO need to fill in those gaps?

What’s working for me is to stay on the path of least resistance.

When it stops flowing, I stop going. 

When I hit a brick wall in progress, I distract myself with something entirely different – something that reignites my joy level.  It could be an episode of Shark Tank (I’m obsessed) or watching Amy Sedaris’ Instagram videos (also obsessed).  America’s Got Talent never fails to bring a heartfelt tear to my eyes.  And a good mani/pedi is another great distraction.

The dream WILL be accomplished; the gaps filled in.  But I refuse to worry about the HOW. 

Why? Because my overriding UNDERSTANDING is this:  God does not put a dream in our heart for it to be frustrated.  It is a seed that we must tend to with love.  And for it to spring forth and bear fruit, we must nurture OURSELVES.

If you feel overwhelmed or sad or just a little off about your particular dream, wish, or want, distract yourself with something lovely.  Conjure up in your imagination the feelings of how wonderful that elusive thing will be while counting your blessings about the right here right now.

Stay in a happy place.

Doing so will keep you in a receptive mode for more serendipitous encounters with creativity, people and other miracles.

More thoughts on UNDERSTANDING, provoked by the recent and tragic suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain…and the new WOW, comin’ right up!

OMG – that just confirms it.  Keep that vibe high!  Celebrate like it’s already happened.  Don’t apologize for your joyful exuberance!

I’m excited for all of us to delight in this wonderful word that invites us to fan the flame of every happy feeling.

Love to you all!

xoxoxoxox

Brenda

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The Beauty of Discontent (and the New WOW)

My favorite dry cleaner, Sherry, was discontent.

As I dropped off my latest stain-splattered garment, she was ending a conversation with a guy at the other end of the counter.  Realizing a customer was at hand, he said, “I’ll be on my way.”

She said, “Okay, baby.  I’ll see you later.”

Oooooohhhhh…such intimacy and tenderness in the way she said those words, I couldn’t just mind my own business.

“Who’s he?”

And the not-so-short story began.

Turns out, many years ago, Joe was married to her friend.  She was married as well, and the two couples often did social things together and always got along famously.

Her marriage ended; she moved.

She lost track of Joe.

A decade went by.  A decade of discontent.  She couldn’t stop wondering what happened to that really nice guy, Joe, that used to be her friend.

She Facebook stalked, to no avail.  More years went by, and then, all of a sudden the “People You May Know…” feature on Facebook turned up Joe’s wife.

Who turned out to be his ex-wife.

The rest, as they say, is history.  One re connection with Joe was all it took for them to  rekindle their friendship, which quickly caught fire and became love.

I say this to encourage those of you who have this nagging thought about something, ANYTHING:  Keep pursuing it.

If you can’t stop thinking about it, let that discontent inspire you to take action.

Who knows how YOUR happily ever after might unfold!

Aside from the beauty of DISCONTENT, this week I also pondered what STEALS my sense of contentment.  I think you might have this in common with me:

A little more understanding…and a lot less judgment.  Let’s extend that not only to others, but to ourselves these coming two weeks.

And let yourself nap!

xoxoxoxo
Brenda

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Testy Challenges on the Way to Understanding (and the New WOW)

My greatest UNDERSTANDING challenges occurred this week on the way to Philadelphia for a work trip.

Impatience produced eye rolls, heavy sighs and overall displays of irritability.

It later struck me (hindsight is 20/20) that my inability to have EMPATHY for the other guy and gal was related to just how much the world (that day) revolved around ME.

It was the tri-fecta of doom when traveling: A middle seat in the back, a crying/screaming child behind me, and a seatmate who was at the height of a horrible, coughing, sneezy cold.

Yes, I asked for a seat change.  No, there were no other available seats on the flight.  Yes, I caught the cold.

It’s easy to be understanding when nothing goes wrong, isn’t it?

Fortunately, I arrived to my sister’s haven of a home and was love-bombed, which I can always count on from her.  Then I traveled to PA for my meetings and stayed at my home away from home with my friends Renee and Steve.  Steve likes to say, “If I can choose who I can come back as in the next life, it would be one of Renee’s friends.”

True that.  I’d want a repeat.  (This is the woman who has soft music playing and fuzzy slippers waiting for me when I arrive.  She makes me protein smoothies for breakfast and sends me to bed at 8 PM if I need it.  Plus, we like the same TV shows and can watch The Voice together.)

My prayer for both households is that they do not catch the bug I may have brought with me from my Sarasota seatmate.

Even though I was starting to feel yucky, all the love I received made me a much more UNDERSTANDING and kind person on the trip back home.

Which leads to my point: If your understanding tank is running on empty, maybe you need to fill it up with some love.

Don’t feel bad about being testy.  See it as a signal that you need some self-care.  Then take care of yourself.

This commercial demonstrates this concept better than any words could:

You might just be one snack away from a more understanding day.

Parting thoughts on that here (and the new WOW!)

Yep – we’ve definitely got a progression going on here.

Be good to yourself this week – and then you’ll have something to give away.

xoxoxoxo

Brenda

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