Many years ago, a friend suggested to me that complaining and feeling sorry for myself was like “crying on the devil’s shoulder.”
This analogy struck me with a visual that always caused me think twice about letting my feelings run a muck.
When I reflect on my teens, 20’s and much of my 30’s, I wasted a bunch of time crying over things that wouldn’t change by crying.
The tears didn’t serve me, they only fueled the pain.
To be clear, I LOVE a good, cleansing cry. The kind that makes you want to call everyone you know and tell them you love them; the kind that relieves stress like air leaving a balloon – and a good snotty howl from a heartrending movie or book (yes, I’m talking about YOU, The Notebook and The Art of Racing in the Rain.)
Those pity party, “Oh woe is me!” cries? As Janet Jackson would sing, “What have you done for me lately?”
When I peel back the curtain on those quicksand feels, I see they predominantly began with negative thoughts that, left unchecked, grew exponentially. I played with those thoughts in the shallow waters and next thing I knew, the undertow whipped in and I was drowning in the deep end.
Which brings me to RESILIENCE, our most recent word of the week. Resilience, to me, is like a tank that fuels our get up and go. Every complaint, every negative thought entertained, every pity party or surrender to fear depletes the tank.
When your get up and go has got up and went, check your resilience tank.
For me, encouraging someone fills my resilience tank. Checking off an item from my to-do list; surprising a friend with a gift and yes, self-maintenance in the form of a mani, pedi, massage or blow dry fits the bill.
A walk on the beach at sunset.
Or simply deep breathing.
What fills YOUR resilience tank?
As we end this week, I hope the only parties you had were on Memorial Day (and certainly not pity parties!)
Onward to a brand, spanking new WOW:
Unmerited favor, ushered in through humility.
Yes, please – heavy doses needed!
May our cups run over with GRACE this week.