Someone once said that having a pity party was like crying on the devil’s shoulder.
That’s a visual image that always stopped me in my tracks. However, pithy sayings aren’t enough when a full-blown expression of WOE IS ME wells up and wants to win my day.
How inconvenient that our Word of the Week was DELIGHT! I received further insight into why that word in the Greek means “pliable.”
If you’re not flexible, you can’t find delight in ANYTHING.
In both my professional and personal lives, I like to write out scripts. For my wedding reception, I had every speech and song plugged into a spreadsheet timed to the minute. (Control freak much?) Never a fan of “winging it” I write out presentations word for word and practice them until they sound extemporaneous.
My mantra (said first by Ben Franklin): If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
But what about my best laid plans blow up all around me???? (Or you?)
I had splurged for what I thought was going to be an amazing Christmas gift for my four most favorite people in the world. Before hitting the purchase button, I checked with both parties to make sure the event date worked for them. I had such a vision of an evening filled with friendship and laughter! Nothing delights me more than a well-chosen present! Yippee!
Without going into the complete details, life had other plans.
For one of the couples it involved triple-bypass surgery. (!) For the other, a nasty, ill-timed virus rendering her bedridden for a week.
Now I KNOW that everyone’s health is way more important than my planned outing. I really know this. I knew this so well that in the days leading up to said failed event, I didn’t even acknowledge that I was disappointed.
Until, out of the blue, I burst into tears. Full blown pity party ensued.
It was quite a juicy sob. And then, I felt remarkably better!
Just knowing how you SHOULD feel doesn’t mean you feel that way. And, as my friend Roseann is famous for saying: Your feelings aren’t right or wrong; they’re just the way you feel.
Suppressing my disappointment – and failing to acknowledge it – only made me irritable and cranky in all the other areas of my life. When I finally admitted to myself that I was disappointed, I could LET GO and even be glad that those tickets were going to be enjoyed by other people. My inability to shake MY idea of how things were going to happen kept me unable to just let life FLOW.
We’ve all got boiling water in our lives. It’s how we RESPOND to it that makes or breaks us.
The lessen hear for me wasn’t to have the perfect response, but to allow myself to be HONEST about what I was feeling, ’cause until that happened I wasn’t getting ANY release.
Nothing changed. But how I FELT about it changed.
Here are my closing thoughts on DELIGHT (and softness) – and the New WOW:
And thankfully, my sisters and brothers are all on the mend!
Here’s to holding close those who hold that special place in our heart this week.