Tag Archives: Patience

Cooking, Cleaning, and Cassia

Sheltering in place has spurred a tug toward cooking and cleaning.

Office closets, filled so haphazardly their contents would bonk me on the head when opening the door, are now pristine. A pile of unworn clothes is packed for donation to Goodwill. The whir of the vacuum and the smell of Fabuloso make more regular appearances on Lockwood Ridge Road.

Or should I say “Lockdown Ridge Road?”

Yes, I’m going stir crazy. I’d much rather be shopping, dining out, and otherwise frolicking than cooking and cleaning.

But the harsh reality? I should well appreciate the privilege of sheltering in place when others must work outside of the home. A million thank you’s to the healthcare workers and grocery store cashiers who carry on in the midst of a scary, insidious, invisible threat.

Nope, I’m not leaving the house. The one time I had to? It involved picking up a prescription for my mom (who I still can’t visit). I wore plastic gloves and a mask, and handed the meds (along with her favorite, People magazine) to an attendant who wouldn’t let me traverse the doorway.

PS – I am SO GRATEFUL Mom is at Atria Assisted Living. They bring her meals, deliver wine for happy hour, and protect her health like it’s Fort Knox.

So back to the domestic arts. When cleaning one of the aforementioned closets, out popped a recipe. This is not unusual. I’ve spent a lifetime collecting recipes for dishes I’ll never make.

Ah, but THIS was for Cassia’s flan.

More than the memory of the richest, creamiest, most delectible desert EVER, I remembered Cassia.

I met her back in the church days, and she was the light (and fire) of every room she entered. Gorgeously Brazilian, she was an elegant, refined lady who would surprise with her sassy comments. Everyone was darling – or rather, “dah-link” – but she did not suffer fools. Oh, but if she liked you? Or loved you?

Well, Cassia’s love was a force to be reckoned with.

She was ready to leave the church/cult when I was getting married but kept silent about her intentions because she didn’t want to put a damper on my party.

Soon after, she left. When I finally had MY awakening to leave, she was the first person I called.

“You were right! Cassia, you were right!”

She loved me enough to give me the space to come to my own conclusion. But was right there to comfort and love me back from the brink of despair when the place I had given my life to was revealed to be a sham.

Cassia loved passionately, and it always showed up at her dinner table. When she invited you to dinner, you dropped everything to be there for a veritable feast that would always end with her life-changing flan.

After almost 20 years of storing the recipe, I finally decided this week to make it.

Why did I wait so long?! It was PERFECTION. Just like Cassia.

But here’s where the story gives me goosies. The day that recipe reemerged from the dark corner of my closet was Cassia’s birthday.

I had forgotten the date! Only later that day when I scrolled through Facebook did I see her adoring widower, Luis, post a tribute to his beloved wife.

On her birthday, Cassia gave me a gift. A tap on the shoulder from beyond and a resurgence of happy memories.

I am probably the age of Cassia when we met. A woman could only hope to aspire to her unique beauty and the quality of her love.

And to the deliciousness of her flan. Of course, you want the recipe! Here you go (by the way, I doubled the ingredients to make the version you see above):

Warning: Put some non-stick spray or parchment paper as a barrier to the caramel. It had hardened to concrete and we ended up throwing away the pan. But the flan was worth it!

With patience our recent Word of the Week, it made sense that I’d try something out of my wheelhouse that required a little bit of the WOW. Here are my parting thoughts on patience, and a zippy new reveal!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJp9np1oPcQ

May all of your adventures these next two weeks be…delicious! And if you have a Cassia memory, please share…

xoxoxox

Brenda

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Is Your Setback Actually a Setup?

My recent hair appointment resulted in a setback.

After three years spent growing out the bangs my ex-husband loved, I made the grave error of arriving at my appointment in a “do whatever you want” mood.

Alan wanted bangs.

Craving some immediate and measurable improvement in my appearance, I threw caution to the wind (despite a nagging no on the inside) and said, “Go for it!”

At the first snip, I knew they were too short.

I groaned internally. This was not my first bang rodeo.

Six-months of hair angst would ensue before I could return to my former bang-less glory.

The only comfort? Looking over my shoulder at previous bang travesties and knowing that, eventually, they always grow back.

Which is a great metaphor for any setback in life.

Think of something that pained you in the past. Do you now think of it differently?

Being laid off from QVC? Now I say THANK GOD I didn’t spend my career selling gold chains (though I am happy for those that do.)

The one that got away? I’ve seen his Facebook photos, and he didn’t age well.

Then, there are the more deeply stinging setbacks. Like the 17 years spent in a church that turned out to be a cult.

Sure, I could waste my energy bemoaning the “lost” years, but were they really lost?

The harshest, most painful setbacks in life (and there were plenty at that place) give us crystal clear clarity on what we don’t want and what we do want.

Never shall I allow my voice to be silenced in the face of injustice again. I will not allow others to assign my worth, nor will I be controlled by someone else’s “vision” for my life.

Just as the scriptures say, I had to lose my life to find it.

The experience set me back to set me up for who I am today.

The loss of my father at age ten still befuddles me. But that setback birthed in me a keen understanding that life is precious…and fleeting. That you should end conversations with a heartfelt “I love you” because you don’t know when or if you’ll get another chance to do so in this life.

A recent post talked about how time offers perspective unavailable when in the midst of turmoil. The 56 -year-old version of me now feels my father’s presence at key moments and I have an unshakable knowing that he is ever-present, offering emotional support.

A very present help in time of trouble.

The immortality of his beautiful soul offered small comfort to a little girl who just wanted a big hand to hold. Forty-six years later, I understand his transition to non-physical as a new way to know him.

Our word these past two weeks has been celebration.

My interpretation has been to embrace celebration as appreciation, yes, even for the setbacks in life.

They unfailingly become setups for good if we’ll choose to see them that way.

https://youtu.be/T8fWbw6yo48

Hoping you find sources of inspiration around every corner.

With love,

Brenda

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Waiting in Wonder and the Power in Patience

I am in love with waiting patiently these days, because I have found the POWER in this space in time.

The waiting period between now and a dream actualized gives us time to PREPARE for the moment.

Mohammed Ali put on those boxing gloves long before his first fight.  Oprah Winfrey practiced speaking as a little girl, long before the cameras were rolling. And everything you  (and I) are doing right now is preparing us for OUR moment.

My recent attendance at an Abraham Hicks workshop reminded me that waiting is a juicy time.

Before I can see it, smell it, taste it or touch it, I can ENJOY it.  

I see the lines of smiling people as I sign my books.  The light on my face is warm,  as I encourage a standing room only audience to love themselves in a dark auditorium. I can taste the salt in the air at the yellow house on Casey Key with a writing room that overlooks the Gulf of Mexico.

Yesterday morning, I even saw the sunflowers on the windowsill as white curtains billow through the kitchen on a sea breeze.

It’s PALPABLE!  And not complicated.

Complication enters when I entertain conflicting thoughts on the same topic.

When I meditate on the details and how-to’s and uh-ohs, my power stance putters.

When I meditate on what is being created, it jazzes me so much I could levitate.  It fills my faith tank so fully that I’ve got too much readiness to believe the bad.

What a thing to NOT to feel guilty about what the world deems important.  (Note to Mom: No, that doesn’t mean I’ll stop being responsible.  I will continue to work hard, pay my bills, remember peoples’ birthdays and to eat my vegetables.)

What I am learning, rather, is to not give attention to the squeakiest wheel and instead give focus to my INNER BEING.

My life – your life – is a petri dish.  We establish (or not) a vibrational ecosystem that supports (or not) what we desire.

What is manifesting (or not) is what is dominant in our thoughts. Thoughts become THINGS.

“If you are not realizing movement on a topic, this influence of your inner being is being dominated by opposing thought.” – Abraham Hicks

What?  You mean I’m hamstringing my own progress by entertaining opposing thoughts?

I thought I was just being practical!

Instead, I choose to be impractical and simultaneously psyched about the pipeline and its contents.  THAT is where the fun is!

And SATISFACTION – right here and now, while you are “waiting” is proof that you are in alignment with SOURCE, God, the Universe, or however you wish to describe the Almighty Power that created ALL of this.

Find as many ways to feel as good as you can feel.

BLISS OUT.

Worry is not how you love people, least of all yourself.  Worry is clutter and resistance to that which we seek to manifest.

So what do I do today?

What inspires me.

My inner being (just like curling in the Olympics) creates a path of least resistance to my dream (which shall be referred to as REALITY from now on) as I chip away at little pieces through inspiration.

Find the POWER as you patiently wait. Don’t wait in loss or longing or lack.  Wait in joyful anticipation.  Enjoy it BEFORE it shows up in the physical.

And know that for this very thing; this moment in time, you exist.  The spark of Divine put inside of you the desire to create this very thing – not to frustrate you!  No! To give you a juicy vision, full of vitality and friskiness, as the cake bakes in the oven.

Who knew patience carried with it such power?  Here are my parting thoughts and the new WOW:

https://youtu.be/4_C3OqGYgsE

A two-fer!  That makes sense since it’s going to fuel us for two weeks!

May your “to-do” list be completed.  I trust that it will.

And don’t forget to let your SOUL win the day, not the drumbeat of what you can see, feel, taste, smell and hear.

xoxoxoxo

Brenda

 

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Thoughts About Thoughts (and the New WOW)

Not all thoughts deserve to be vocalized.

There are some ideas that burn in your brain and demand to be voiced.  In my experience, I’ve found that those are usually the ones better left unsaid.

A passionate pounding attached to a thought is an indicator that I need to sit on it for a while, until it is less energized by the heat of the moment.

Sometimes, those thoughts eventually diminish in power and disappear all together.

Others STEW to a simmer, and you can’t shake them like sticky tape.

One of the best ways to dislodge nagging thoughts is to expose them.  

Sometimes, I talk to myself and that helps.

Other times, I expose those murky thoughts to a trusted friend and in simply speaking them out, their power is reduced to a manageable status.

Then there are times when the thoughts just won’t exit, and a conversation must be had with someone about whom you are HAVING those thoughts.

Yuck.

I love encouraging people, talking up the good, speaking life into situations, coaching to dislodge negativity.

But I HATE sticky conversations that could result in:

  • Anger
  • Rejection
  • Defensiveness
  • And raiding the refrigerator to assuage the angst of the confrontation.

Since this past week’s word has been COMMUNICATION, wouldn’t you know it, I’ve had to have some tough conversations.

I went through my process, first talking to myself.  Then talking to not one, not two, but three trusted friends.  During this time, I backed off from the person about whom I was having the thoughts to “clear my mind.”  But the backing off in itself was also communicating.

Actions really do speak louder than words, and silence can be deafening.

What could have been “nipped in bud” three days sooner with a candid (but loving) conversation, was made needlessly bigger by my ghosting of the person.

Yep, the four-letter monster of FEAR crept in, I allowed it to shut me down, and in doing so,  my thoughts became further jumbled.  When they finally came out (not in graceful, flowing words), it was like verbal diarrhea.

The good news is that COMMUNICATION (in this instance) was two-way.  And the recipient was full of love, not fear.

That meant I was responded to with patience, kindness, thinking no evil and taking no account of a suffered wrong.  Thank God for a person who lives by the four agreements!  (They don’t take things personally.)

It’s not your perfect communication that is effective in life, though sometimes it’s a catalyst for great good.  No, sometimes it is your jumbled up blapping, met with love, that reveals what is most important in life.

Which always turns out to be…LOVE.

My closing thoughts on COMMUNICATION and a quite appropriate new WOW to take us through the next two weeks:

Hang in there!  We’re ALL waiting for something.  May we have extra doses of patience to wait with JOY and not angst.

Much love (and as my friend Denny always used to say):  Love much.

xoxoxoxox

Brenda

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Inspiration for Your Week: The WOW for 7.12.15

Isn’t it interesting how life never quite goes the way you planned?

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it turns out even better than you imagined; I prefer those turns of events, don’t you?

Then there are those times you pin so many hopes on, and they fizzle like a bad set of fireworks.  Plop.  What a dud!

That’s why last week’s word, “PRESENCE” was so pertinent to me. I realized just how much time I spent looking forward to stuff or planning stuff to look forward to that I was continually missing the inspiration of present moments.

I don’t want to be a “tomorrow” junkie (or any kind for that matter.)

As for today – and this week – the angels have taken out a neon yellow highlighter and underscored a really important word for us all:

That last couple of lines just flowed out and it feels right to say again:

IT’S JUST A MATTER OF TIME.

You know that line where I quote that line, “Love is patient…”

I recalled why I know this so well.  Every day of my life, I see this:

This plaque was a treasured gift from one of my besties, Roseann McGrath, and it always hold a prominent place on our bedroom wall wherever we move.  A lovely reminder about LOVE (when spatting with the spouse.)
This plaque was a treasured gift from one of my besties, Roseann McGrath, and it always hold a prominent place on our bedroom wall wherever we move. A lovely reminder about LOVE (when spatting with the spouse.)

On this Sunday morning, where we are inspired to turn our hearts once again to love, I feel compelled to revisit that entire passage from I Corinthians 13:

If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 Love never fails.

But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.

 But the greatest of these is love.

What requires a healthy dose of patience in your life this week? 

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