Tag Archives: Obedience

In Praise of Nagging (and the New WOW)

Sometimes a nagging voice can save your life.

I hear you; sometimes nagging can also annoy the #$%^ out of you.  There are certain reminders from my husband that reverberate in my head even when he’s not around. The admonitions to not leave the house with the washing machine running…or to not put the good knives in the dishwasher (and a few hundred other Duane-isms) sometimes make me groan.  Since he’s been proven right about many of them, I tend to comply with his voice in my head.

I’m not so sure my exhortations against leaving a used K-cup in the Keurig or dishes in the sink have been equally successful.

Exhortations!  What a lovely euphemism for nagging!  (Well, nice nagging.  There is also bitchy nagging, which is a blog post for a different day.)

Nagging can take on various forms. Sometimes they start as a simple “Hmmmmmm….” 

These are easily dismissed.

If the “Hmmmmms…” continue, they turn into heart tugs that evolve into questions. Questions become torments if answers aren’t sought.

Which led me to the doctor’s office.

A little dime-sized bump on my leg started to nag me.  I think I was shaving my legs, felt it and thought, “Hmmmmm…I guess it’s a mosquito bite.”

Then when reading at night a few weeks later I remembered it…and there it still was. “Hmmmmmm….”

My heart tugged and I asked Duane to look at it.  “I dunno…get it checked out.”

It got a little bigger and I began to Google every possible iteration of “bumps on the leg.”

The questions demanded an answer.  Fortunately, I had a checkup arranged – one that I was excited about.  My doctor was going to praise my weight loss and exercise program, and crown me the queen of the New Year’s resolution parade (if there was such a thing.)

Instead, she said, “Hmmmmmmm….”

She recommended a biopsy and at the B word I went into overdrive. The specialist she recommended couldn’t see me for ANOTHER MONTH.  Ha!  Now that my nagging had a directive attached to it, I wasn’t going to wait another MINUTE (let alone a month.)

Dr. Fernandez saw me that very week.  He checked out the bump (as well as another one elsewhere; I mean, after all, if you’re getting biopsied, go for it, girl!)

I said, hopefully, “It’s nothing, right?”

He replied that to get an accurate reading would take at least 10 business days.  Which were a super long ten days, as you can imagine.

When I got the call, I said, “You have good news, right?”

She said the other “B” word – basil cell carcinoma.  Which I Googled while she was on the other end of the line scheduling its removal.

As I have stated previously, if you are going to have the “C” word, this is the one to have. Quite common and easily removed, you almost want to say “thank you” to the universe for dishing out a lesser form of awfulness.

As I write this, my zapping of the C is happening on Monday morning, and I look forward to sharing good news with you all.

Don’t think you’re off the hook.  I bet some of you have had  nagging thoughts that you have suppressed and disregarded.  Please take this blog post as an exhortation to GET IT CHECKED OUT.  

Also, in conclusion, if you have backed off of nagging your husband to get his prostate checked or dental work done or a host of other medical musts that no man ever wants to do, KEEP NAGGING.

Here are my final thoughts in praise of nagging, and another personal story of how being OBEDIENT (last week’s WOW) to that still, small voice changed the very course of my life:

Interesting that VISION ended 2016 for us.  Perhaps this is a reminder to dust that off and remember what your vision for 2017 was (before too much of it is in our rear view mirror.)

If you are faced with a difficult decision; one that requires heart-wrenching obedience to the still, small, nagging voice – I am rooting for you.

As the theme song to my very favorite show of all time went:  You’re gonna make it after all.

RIP Mary Tyler Moore.

And love to you all –




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Sisters and Brothers from Another Mother (and the New WOW)

Don’t you love when friends turn into sisters and brothers?

This week I was reminded of how my circle of friends has widened since moving to Sarasota. My first six months were spent in tears of loneliness. Would I ever find my tribe?

I’d go to get my nails done and actually look around for potential friends. (You know, like in the children’s book, “Are You My Mother?”  only the “Are you My Future Friend?” version.)

Thank GOD for my main posse, who were my anchors during those stormy (and lonely) months. Renee the kind comforter; Anita the soulful listener; Cynthia the sassy sophisticate. They never failed to “show up” for me.  Because they are so GOOD at being sister friends, I made the mistake of comparing everyone new that I met to them.  Who could measure up?

Then there’s my sister sister, Shirlee, who is an earth angel.  I won the sister lottery when I was born, and she’s a gift that keeps on giving me tidings of comfort and joy.

There are the friends you hardly see at ALL (unfortunately)…but they are THERE.  If I needed Cindy or Roseann, Judy, Linda, Hilary or Antoinette, at a moment’s notice they’d drop everything on a dime to lend their wisdom or kindness without judgment.

When I finally began to relax (and stop whining), a new bouquet of budding friendships emerged. Five-foot-nothing, southern belle Kyle instantly became a huge connector and cheerleader who never fails to make me smile.  Karen, who I always introduce as my “two-time-published author” friend has proven to be a true go-to for impromptu adventures and rich conversations. My new across-the-street neighbor Darcy looks like Blake Lively (and I won’t hold that against her) because she makes me feel like her most favorite person in the world (and who doesn’t love feeling like THAT?)

I’ve got two Kim’s – my cousin as well as a long-lost friend from ages ago who came back into my life this year.  You couldn’t find two bigger hearts so full of love.

There’s all of you out there that I’ve never met, but you have become my sisters.  Suzan Alexander, can you feel the love?

I can’t forget the guys. John, my brother, sings Sinatra to me and no matter what my week is like, it heals or lifts my heart. Eric, my favorite collaborator, is always learning new things and sharing them with me, while being a genuinely kind man. Doug, who calls me “lass”, notices new shoes and hairdos (and, along with the other Sarasota Lounge Lizards made Sarasota finally feel like home.)

That really is what our sisters and brothers of the heart do for us.  They make us feel at home in this world.

We go back with them…and we go forward.

I say all of this with a heart full of gratitude and love along with a little fear and trepidation that I have certainly left someone out who should be named.  If you were omitted, part of the reason I love you is because you are so wonderfully forgiving.

I count on that breath of kindness from my sisters and brothers.  No matter how much is in your bank account as you read this, if you have at least one sibling of the heart, you (and I) are rich.

Now for the new Word of the Week!

Hmmmmmm!  I’ll admit to a teeny buzz-kill when I pulled the word OBEDIENCE. However, if history continues to repeat itself, I’ll find some nuggets in the week ahead for which I’ll end up being grateful.

Who are your sisters and brothers of the heart?  And how have they impacted your life?



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