Tag Archives: Negativity

Keeping it Kind in the Mind (and the New WOW)

My mind can be either a landfill of thoughts or simply a breezeway for them to enter and exit.

Thoughts are like beloved company or dreaded solicitors, and we should treat them similarly.

A welcome visitor should be encouraged to stay (perhaps forever). You fluff their pillows and linger over coffee at the kitchen table. You ENGAGE and cultivate experiences that build to more of them.

With solicitors, who never fail to call just when you are sitting down to dinner or ring the doorbell at the WORST possible time (actually, any time the doorbell rings without a pre-planned visit is usually inopportune), you cut to the chase and close out the contact as quickly as possible.

I suggest we do the same with the thoughts that come to call, hoping to lodge in our minds.

Why do we entertain liars, bullies, Negative Nellies and Debbie Downers?  If we wouldn’t invite them to sleep in our guest room, why let them linger in our minds?

Perhaps because we fear they speak the truth.

I protest!

It is the TRUTH that sets us FREE; lies put us in bondage, render us losers and talk us out of our dreams.

As those of you who follow this blog know, I had my own crisis of faith in recent weeks that almost talked me in to quitting my practice of the Word of the Week.

It toyed with my soul, nagged and chipped away at my joy and was building power…

…until I gave it a voice. Speaking it out loud and sharing it with people whose opinions I respect took it out of the shadows and into the light.

When the light shines, you see the fuzz balls and the dust for what it is – and you can clean house.

Which is what I did.  And why I am here today, talking to you wonderful friends.

Let’s take the flipside for a moment:  If Jimmy Fallon showed up at your door (or George Clooney or Oprah or maybe your favorite character from This is Us or someone else delightful and/or hunky), wouldn’t you roll out the red carpet?

So when someone compliments you or you think kindly about yourself, why do we so easily dismiss or deflect?  Is it a false humility?

Does it matter what it is if it doesn’t serve our best selves?

I had some close encounters this week with wonderful people setting up housekeeping with MEAN thoughts.  Here’s what I had to say about that (and of course, the new WOW):

Ah, HARMONY.

A call to be at peace, within and without. Embracing differences so they blend rather than tear us apart.

This goes along beautifully with the exhortation to be kind, to yourself and to others.

When the nasty thoughts come, toward yourself or to another person, show them the door.

And usher in HARMONY.

xoxoxoxo
Brenda

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Voting with the Truth (not the Lies) and the New WOW

I wrote a card to a friend this week, because I was struck by just how gifted he is in drawing good people together.  I found “my people” in Sarasota because of him, and I wanted to him to hear that TRUTH (in true Word of the Week style.)

I tried to say it – and believe me folks, I have no problem saying anything to anyone (God gave me that gene instead of the one that can balance checkbooks or cook meals) – but every time I tried to go there, he cracked a joke.

The truth wants to set us free, but can only do so when we LET it.

I only bring up that example because sometimes I see that same deflection in myself. A compliment poo-poohed, an expression of appreciation responded to with “oh, that'[s nothing…”  I thought about why we all sometimes fall into that trap that sticks an umbrella up when blessings start to fall down and have considered that it’s often because we are more comfortable with the LIES that bind us than the TRUTH that sets us free.

Have you ever heard in your head:  “You’re a loser.”  “You’ll never change.”  “Why bother?” “It’s too late for you!” (You can fill in the blank with your own variety of playful thoughts.)

And we entertain them!  Sit right down and tell me more!  Oooooh…that reminds me of ten other regrets/failure/fears…and down the rabbit hole we go.

Ah, but “You’re beautiful.”  “You’re talented.” “You inspire me.” “You make a difference.” “You should go for it!”

These lovely truths to often die on the vine because we sometimes (falsely) believe that embracing such good stuff about ourselves is conceited or arrogant or haughty.

Which is another LIE!

 

Lies

Let’s continue to vote with the TRUTH this week (and every week).

Imagine the energy and strength and power you’ll bring into your situations and challenges!  

And you’ll have an abundance of good feelings so you can give the excess away to others.

More on TRUTH…and the new (first ever) WOW!:

Boy does this play off of the whole empathetic approach to life that was part of the TRUTH I heard last week!

As always, when we apply the Word of the Week and seek to extend UNDERSTANDING to others, don’t forget to offer yourself some healthy doses of it, too.

xoxoxoxoxo

Brenda

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