Tag Archives: Mind

You’re Telling Me To RELAX?

RELAX???

When your word of the week says, “Relax!” and the world as you’ve known it becomes completely upended, it’s like a bad joke.

You want me to relax when I can’t leave the house?

It’s a bit counterintuitive. You’d think not being able to leave the house; not fulfilling obligations; not even being able to go to the gym would offer abundant opportunities to relax, right?

Ah…but relaxation is a mindset.

I wish I could uninstall my rampant thoughts as easily as a computer USB.

Remembering that every fearful thought begins with “What if?” has helped me to stop negative momentum.

And, if the thoughts we are thinking don’t feel good? Stop milking them.

Further, if the news we listen to heightens our anxiety? Power down that device.

I’m not suggesting to stick our heads in the sand. But I am saying as the CEO of our lives, we need to (more than ever) listen to our internal, emotional gauges. When we feel information overload, take a step back.

Wash your hands.

Then watch something funny or play catch with the dog.

Social distancing needs to be offset by healthy doses of laughter, virtual connection, and generosity.

Rather than focusing on lack, I’ve been considering how I can give. And some of you have been inspiring me greatly!

My friend, the amazingly talented John Russo, has been crooning on Facebook live. What a joy! (I’d pay to subscribe, John, if you had that option…)

The Main Line’s Martha Stewart, Pat Nogar, does live cooking demonstrations on her page (seasoned with big doses of inspiration.)

And I considered, “What can I do?”

Ages ago I bought a software subscription to offer live webinars and it collected dust because of my busy life. Plus, my favorite thing to do is to speak live and in person!

But who’s doing that now?

Crickets.

However, behind my desire to encourage groups in person is not what I’m paid to do, but what I’m made to do.

And that is to be an uplifter.

Nothing else makes me feel more alive. So I’m hosting my first virtual book club webinar on Friday, March 27th at Noon. Pat Nogar is co-hosting with me, it’s free, and will focus on one of the chapters of The Public Servants’ Survival Guide: REST.

We’ll be chatting about how REST is more than getting a good night’s sleep, and that those who master resting in peace have become adept at sidestepping drama. Please register by clicking here.

(Breaking news: There’s always drama. Always will be! )

Long after this pandemic is a memory, there will be drama among in-laws, frenemies, cubicle-sharers, and the real housewives of any community.

I read where the Spanish Flu in 1918 resulted in 50-100 million deaths, but also ushered in a wave of unprecedented self-reflection and personal growth among the populace. King Lear was written when Shakespeare was quarantined during the plague!

What beauty will come from these ashes? Let’s find it together.

And boy, the cards don’t lie. Wait’ll you hear what the new Word of the Weeks is!:

https://youtu.be/qIfqEX-sru0

Stay healthy. Know you are loved. And I hope to be with you next Friday!

xoxoxo

Brenda

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Digging Out of a Self-Dug Hole

It was a deep, dark hole.

And I dug it. (And not in a good, 70’s “groovy” kind of way.)

Since we are the CEO’s of our own lives, we dig the holes we choose to dive into.

This week’s video talks about the particular hole I dug, so I’m not going to re-hash that, but let’s spend a minute going over how to emerge from those self-imposed ditches!

First things first, stop beating yourself up for having “done it again.” You were on a high-flying disc, you felt unstoppable, you were bathed in positivity – then BAM, you got sucker punched by a thought.

It was a nagging thought; it could have been swatted away like a mosquito, but instead, you played with it.

You entertained it.

In the workshops I teach, I use the example of a known criminal showing up at your door. Would you let them in? Further, would you brew a pot of coffee and open up the guest room?

NEVER!

We should treat negative thoughts; hurtful self-talk and shame-filled internal accusations with the same vehemence.

However, when we fail to kick them to the curb quickly, they do gain momentum. And their companion playmates then join in to sling some mud. Next thing you know, you have full-on anxiety, depression, the blahs and the blues.

The worst thing you can do is kick yourself when you’re down.

No! Be extra nice to yourself. Don’t dwell on the hole; think of a better-feeling thought – perhaps completely off-topic. Like that your favorite niece just got engaged – or that there’s a whole pint of Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer with your name on it. Count some blessings. You have a roof over your head, or friends that care about you. A job that pays the bills and a sunset you can catch if you look out the window.

If that doesn’t work, take a nap. Going to sleep will hit the re-set button on your mood.

Seeking those better- feeling thoughts and entertaining THEM will elevate you from the hole, and soon you’ll be back to your tuned in, tapped in, turned on self.

Yes, you are hearing my favorite Esther Hicks phrases in this post, and for good reason.

They work!

I bet you’ll laugh when you hear what nagging thought began MY personal hole since the last time we visited. How lovely to laugh at what had previously stung!

https://youtu.be/FOQmkjf-4As

Don’t you just LOVE our new Word of the Week?

xoxoxo

Love,
Brenda

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Keeping it Kind in the Mind (and the New WOW)

My mind can be either a landfill of thoughts or simply a breezeway for them to enter and exit.

Thoughts are like beloved company or dreaded solicitors, and we should treat them similarly.

A welcome visitor should be encouraged to stay (perhaps forever). You fluff their pillows and linger over coffee at the kitchen table. You ENGAGE and cultivate experiences that build to more of them.

With solicitors, who never fail to call just when you are sitting down to dinner or ring the doorbell at the WORST possible time (actually, any time the doorbell rings without a pre-planned visit is usually inopportune), you cut to the chase and close out the contact as quickly as possible.

I suggest we do the same with the thoughts that come to call, hoping to lodge in our minds.

Why do we entertain liars, bullies, Negative Nellies and Debbie Downers?  If we wouldn’t invite them to sleep in our guest room, why let them linger in our minds?

Perhaps because we fear they speak the truth.

I protest!

It is the TRUTH that sets us FREE; lies put us in bondage, render us losers and talk us out of our dreams.

As those of you who follow this blog know, I had my own crisis of faith in recent weeks that almost talked me in to quitting my practice of the Word of the Week.

It toyed with my soul, nagged and chipped away at my joy and was building power…

…until I gave it a voice. Speaking it out loud and sharing it with people whose opinions I respect took it out of the shadows and into the light.

When the light shines, you see the fuzz balls and the dust for what it is – and you can clean house.

Which is what I did.  And why I am here today, talking to you wonderful friends.

Let’s take the flipside for a moment:  If Jimmy Fallon showed up at your door (or George Clooney or Oprah or maybe your favorite character from This is Us or someone else delightful and/or hunky), wouldn’t you roll out the red carpet?

So when someone compliments you or you think kindly about yourself, why do we so easily dismiss or deflect?  Is it a false humility?

Does it matter what it is if it doesn’t serve our best selves?

I had some close encounters this week with wonderful people setting up housekeeping with MEAN thoughts.  Here’s what I had to say about that (and of course, the new WOW):

Ah, HARMONY.

A call to be at peace, within and without. Embracing differences so they blend rather than tear us apart.

This goes along beautifully with the exhortation to be kind, to yourself and to others.

When the nasty thoughts come, toward yourself or to another person, show them the door.

And usher in HARMONY.

xoxoxoxo
Brenda

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