I’m learning that some lessons are like Groundhog’s Day. They don’t go away until they’ve done their work.
Have you hit your head against a familiar wall, time and time again?
Maybe it’s to stand up for yourself; embrace conflict and be assertive.
Perhaps your Achilles heel is to stop falling for the bad boys just because the chemistry rings your bell.
Or learning to say “No” to extra duties when your plate is completely full.
My Groundhog Day lesson? It always comes back to self-worth, ego, and the motivation for why I do what I do and want what I want.
Oh, my journey to Costa Rica settled many deep-rooted issues related to loving myself. There was no turning back from what was a uniquely healing experience. But, as life would have it, there are LAYERS of healing; layers of release; layers of understanding and, as was our Word of the Weeks, WISDOM.
When you feel less than, you have to produce MORE than.
Simple doesn’t cut it. Grand is required; success has to be super-sized.
Yes, I am a believer in abundance and that there’s plenty to go around, so yes, get me some! But lately there has been a shift to ask myself, “Why?”
Am I still trying to prove something to myself?
Or am I still that child seeking to finally win approval through my amazing performance?
Ugh. THAT performance word again.
Well, I’m letting it rise up and smack me (gently) in the head and heart, because sometimes things have to come up again and around another way before you get the richness of release.
Here’s what I do know: I am trying too hard when I’m stressed.
Some of the best gifts of my life had nothing to do with how hard I worked to make them happen.
I want more of THAT.
And, side note to myself (and to you, too, if it helps): Everything doesn’t have to happen TOMORROW.
I tend to feel quite sensitive to the passage of time, and find myself urgently attempting to fit everything in before I die.
Which is a lousy way to live. Today. In the now.
Because today is the only today you get.
So I’m thinking it is wise to walk away from the desperation of stress-fueled achievement (and taking a nice LONG weekend to visit my friend Anita in Jacksonville just to wiggle my toes in the sand and accomplish NOTHING for the next few days.)
Happy Labor Day weekend, everyone!
More thoughts on WISDOM, and a brand new Word of the Weeks (WOW):
May none of our AWAKENINGS be rude ones…instead, may we sense the gentle nudge of SPIRIT and see with new eyes and a wide open heart.
With all that I had to learn this past week, you might think that our WOW was still EDUCATION. Still, it dovetailed nicely into EXPANSIVENESS; after all, every time you learn, you grow.
Getting back to my story about the series of fires I had to put out last week, aAside from the skill sets I had to acquire (YESTERDAY!), I had to keep stopping to breathe…
I needed to become bigger on the inside to handle all that was going on the outside.
Growth is a process that doesn’t have a fast forward button (unless the circumstances of life propel you to new heights out of necessity.) I felt like a little kid stopping her feet and whining, “Are we THERE yet?”
No amount of whining or worrying will get you (or me) where we need to be.
How I was responding was defining me. Am I a person of faith – or a person of fear?
I was a person gripped with fear MANY times this past week, but self-talked myself off the ledge and back to peace about 327 times.
I wish I could say as I write this that everything has been crossed off my to-do list and successfully completed. However, I AM believing that somehow between now and the finish line I will continue to expand, enabling me to rise to the challenge.
Despite the stress, each new thing I learn makes me feel like an Olympian, breaking the tape at the finish line. I have to keep my eye on that prize, hear the imaginary crowd roaring and see my head bowed to receive the medal.
I mean, what’s the alternative? Believing the ship will sink and that I’ll go down with it?
Gee, how comforting.
Instead, I’ve been singing the theme song from Laverne and Shirley to keep me stoked. (We’re gonna make our dre-eems come true. And we’ll do it our way, yes our way, making our dreams come true…)
Better our dreams than our nightmares.
Which plays well into this week’s WOW…
EXPECTANCY, as I am living it out after having recorded the message, is a two edged sword.
You can dwell on all the negative possibilities and expect Murphy’s law to be in effect.
Or you can have the audacity to get your hopes up and believe for the best.
I discovered the most awesome new word this week: PRONOIA. Definition: Believing the universe is always working on your behalf in every situation. Opposite, of course, of paranoia.
It’s my new favorite word as we brace for BLESSING this week.
I’m expecting to hear wonderful things from all of you!