Tag Archives: Integrity

Hey! Who Are You Calling a Liar?

A compulsive liar doesn’t get a pass today.  My point is that no one is perfect, and perfection shouldn’t be the criteria for integrity.

I’ve lied.  So have you!  (If you say you’ve never lied, ahem, you’re lying.)

The trick is, do you STAY there?

I’m a horrible liar. It feels like Pinocchio’s nose is growing on me as I speak and my words flounder like a fish out of water.

When people are counting on me, it breaks my heart to let them down.  But I have.

And so have you.

That doesn’t mean you lack integrity.  It means you’re human.

It’s what you DO with your lapses in judgement that makes you a woman or a man of integrity.  True, sometimes you can’t “make it right” but you CAN choose to never make that mistake again.

Don’t judge me on who I was in 1998, because that lady doesn’t exist anymore. 

In fact, don’t judge me (or anyone) at all.  There are enough planks in our own eyes to keep us busy for a while.

Coming clean isn’t fun, but it’s like taking a hot shower when you’ve been playing in the mud.

What’s interesting to me is how often we EXPECT that people are lying to us!  We’re actually surprised when what they do matches up with what they say.

This happened to me recently.  A friend who knows me VERY well, looked at me skeptically and said, “So really…do you pick those words in advance and prepare what you’re going to say before you start recording?”

PhotoCredit: Le Choix

Nope.  Not a chance.  When I know I have a particularly busy schedule or am traveling, I may RECORD a little earlier than normal, but I NEVER ever ever ever pick the word and pretend to pray and pick and speak extemporaneously.

It’s part of my spiritual practice to choose the WOW and invite it to challenge me (and you, if you are inclined).  Faking it would mark me a liar. It would break my spirit. Having had more than my share of experience with spiritual fakers, it’s the LAST lapse of integrity I would ever hope to have.

So, be comforted, my friends. These presentations each week are not rehearsed, practiced, and certainly NOT perfect.  But they ARE shared with integrity, which leads me to this week’s WOW:

It’s powerful to choose not to “wing it” in life.  Those who seem to effortlessly say and do the right thing aren’t specially-born that way.

They’ve made a practice of speaking and living with purpose.

The more you do something, the more easily it flows out of you.

I coach my communications clients to always consider the end game of a media interview. What is their hoped-for outcome?  What message is necessary to convey?  Considering AND practicing these in advance is part of wise preparation.  The message needs to be SO “in you” that a glitch or speed bump won’t knock you off of your game.

This is good advice for all of life.

No, a script doesn’t arrive each morning via courier with all of the plot twists outlined for the day.

But entering our day with PURPOSE can keep us on course regardless of what surprises await us.

What PURPOSE are you bringing in to the new week?

xoxoxoxox

Brenda

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Joy-Sucking Trauma and the New WOW

Have you ever just zipped through life for a period of weeks with no major setbacks or heart-gripping faux pas to sap your joy?

I like those weeks.

This was not one of them!

Like a bad dream, an e-mail showed up in my inbox signaling potential professional doom.

A wildly successful project of mine was now the target of a HUGE company’s cease and desist order.

Yes, I always wanted to be discovered by the movies. THIS was not what I had in mind. Let’s just say I wasn’t ready for this kind of closeup, Mr. DeMille.

Quicker than Duane’s lime green Challenger can do zero to sixty, I went from joy to white-knuckled terror.

That sinking feeling of dread? A product of the mere SUGGESTION of bad things to come, not facts.

When faced with these tugging suggestions, we can travel one of two routes:

  1. Vote with fear and enter the deep, dark abyss of related paranoias and dreads
  2. Resist the negative possibilities and reinforce yourself with truth, comforting thoughts and the influence of good people

Which do you think I chose?

Ha!  For several hours, #1 was the victor. My face, drained of color, featured a perpetual deer in the headlights look and I headed into the abyss with a technicolor 10-point outline of how badly things were going to go down.

Taking a big gulp and a huge slice of humble pie, I made the dreaded call to my employer, alerting him to this dark turn of events.  My insides felt like a cauldron of doom and my voice, shaking, conveyed the scary turn of events.

He laughed.

What?  Ummm…surely I didn’t explain this properly.

Let me try again.

He chuckled.

Huh?

Could it be that my awful turn of events was something not quite so horrible?

THIS turned out to be how the word JOY played out for me this week.  Realizing my fears were unfounded ushered in utter RELIEF, and subsequently, joy.  REAL, giddy joy prone to bursting into a happy dance because the feared thing turned out to be just a mirage.

Oh, life, you wild roller-coaster ride you.  

You use the valleys to make the peaks more thrilling; allow the lean times for abundance to be better savored. Life, you are quite the entertainer!

Are you finding yourself on the down side of life right now?  Take courage!  Valleys are temporary and serve as a supreme set up for amplified delight when the road swings upward.

For more on JOY, the reveal of the new WOW and with fair warning that I am LONG-WINDED because there are Iceland stories to share, here we go:

Good stuff!  Integrity is a great word for us to hang our respective hats on this week.

May we all possess the strength of mind to know the right thing and, further, the chutzpah to DO IT this week.

Lots of love,

Brenda

 

 

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What a Treat! The New Word of the Week…

When you’re in a jam, INTEGRITY will preserve you.

(Did anyone else get the jam/preserve play on words?  I actually am writing this soon after having peanut butter on an English muffin, and was craving jam.  Or preserves.  But we didn’t have any.)

I talk about this aspect of integrity in this week’s wrap-up video:

So we won the WOW lottery!  It’s a week to be DELIGHTED.

Or delightful.

Even more so than usual.

As I always say:

Little treats

I’m interested to know what delight looks like to YOU?

For me, it’s hearing John Russo sing The Way You Look Tonight or Fly Me to the Moon.

It’s the show, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix that I binge-watched giggling non-stop this past week. Who knew being a former cult member could be funny?

When Duane visits me in my office and rubs my shoulders…*sigh*.  Or we start singing Jimmy Fallon’s “Tight Pants” song together – yippee!

Don’t tell me you’ve never heard it?

Now the song WILL be in your head for days to come.  Duane and I like to change the words to fit the moment.  “Every body’s talkin’ bout my ______….”

You get the idea.

Unique cards that are like little works of art. Beautifully wrapped packages (it doesn’t even matter what’s in them.) The perfect cup of coffee. Payday!

Triple digit Scrabble words and episodes of Modern Family!

Life is full of potholes, speed bumps and sometimes sink holes. I believe that the little delights in life are the exclamation points and highlighters that keep our stories moving forward.

Please know that you deserve every single delightful thing that comes your way. And if one hasn’t come along in a while, it should be your priority to do something about it.

Buy YOURSELF those flowers.  Stop waiting for someone to take you to that restaurant – just go (sit at the bar and order dinner there if it helps.) Carve out an afternoon to binge-watch an entire series you haven’t caught up on.  (If it’s Grey’s Anatomy, proceed with caution.  With McDreamy gone and Japril on the rocks, it’s rough going…)

Just do it.  Whatever your IT is, treat yourself.

“Let your heart be light” is a great line in a Christmas carol, but good advice all year long.

Notice it says LET.

It’s a decision; a choice – and it’s all yours.

Have a delightful week, dear friends –

xoxoxoxo

Brenda

 

 

 

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