Tag Archives: dreams

Knocked Down (But Willing to Get Up!)

There are a few songs that bring out the fight in me when I’m feeling down.

The theme from Rocky always does it for me. Bill Conti’s horns always make we want to jump up and down on the couch with my arms raised in the victory pose.

Then there’s that “I get knocked down, but I get up again” song by Chumbawamba.  Its actual title is Tubthumping, but I never understood that (or most of the other words.) However, that fighter’s chorus just gets my blood thumping. (Or rather, “tubthumping?)

Our Word of the Week was WILLINGNESS and the truth is, sometimes I get knocked down and I DO NOT WANT to get up again.

I want to slink into the bedroom with a vat of pistachio gelato, curl under the covers and hibernate for at least a few days.  No phone calls; no texts:  I “vant to be alone” in full-on Greta Garbo mode.

That’s how I felt when I lost the final round of my Toastmaster’s Humorous Speech competition last fall.  I had won the club, area, and district competitions and gave what I felt was my best-ever performance at the BIG finale.

And I didn’t even place.

I smiled through the excruciatingly long awards ceremony, wanting to appear to be the good sport that I hoped I would be.

But I was mad.  And I felt robbed.

I swore I would never grace another Toastmasters’ speech competition with my presence and even considered quitting the organization altogether.

No, I am not 9 years old, but I was acting as if.

When the dust settled, I remembered why I got involved with Toastmasters in the first place.  I wanted to compete and perfect my craft; I wanted feedback and a track to run on to pursue my dreams.

When you feel like quitting, friends, go back to your “Why?”  

Your why is the fuel that will take your legs up to the top of the Art Museum.

Your why makes you willing to try again.

As I write this, I am preparing for a Saturday competition in which I will deliver “How To Fertilize Your Life” – the speech I wrote about a few weeks ago.

Yes, I want to win.  But more than that – I want to inspire the crowd assembling at the Gulf Gate Library on a Saturday afternoon.  I want to give them something to take with them that will encourage them to kiss their spouses, say thank you to a co-worker or compliment a stranger.

Oh, and yes, I want to win.

My dream is HUGE.  I want to be the Toastmasters International Public Speaking Champion.  Which means, if I am fortunate enough to win at Gulf Gate this Saturday, I’ve got several layers of the candy cane forest to travel through to get to my destination.

One step at a time, right?

Here’s the thing: We all get hurt.  Some wounds are minor bumps and bruises, like losing a speech competition.

Some are more profound, like finding out a church was really a cult and saying, “I’ll never darken the door of another church again.”

My nevers, however, are usually wrapped up in fear. Today I find myself attending a sweet little Center of Light with Mark every Sunday morning and finding joy in the ritual of a spiritual community.

Willingness is not only a trademark of resilience but also of saying YES to life itself.

Let’s not let our failed marriages keep us from being open to love.

Let us try yet again when we fall flat on our faces…

…and not let the past dictate our futures.

We so often wall ourselves up to protect from future disappointments, but then I remember that with every disappointment has come loving comfort by friends who have wooed me back to health. And whattya know, I’m up again and back in the fight.

More on willingness here…and I’ll keep you posted on Facebook about the competition!

Hefty doses of self-acceptance to all of us (no matter HOW the judges rule.)

xoxoxoxox

Brenda

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Waiting in Wonder and the Power in Patience

I am in love with waiting patiently these days, because I have found the POWER in this space in time.

The waiting period between now and a dream actualized gives us time to PREPARE for the moment.

Mohammed Ali put on those boxing gloves long before his first fight.  Oprah Winfrey practiced speaking as a little girl, long before the cameras were rolling. And everything you  (and I) are doing right now is preparing us for OUR moment.

My recent attendance at an Abraham Hicks workshop reminded me that waiting is a juicy time.

Before I can see it, smell it, taste it or touch it, I can ENJOY it.  

I see the lines of smiling people as I sign my books.  The light on my face is warm,  as I encourage a standing room only audience to love themselves in a dark auditorium. I can taste the salt in the air at the yellow house on Casey Key with a writing room that overlooks the Gulf of Mexico.

Yesterday morning, I even saw the sunflowers on the windowsill as white curtains billow through the kitchen on a sea breeze.

It’s PALPABLE!  And not complicated.

Complication enters when I entertain conflicting thoughts on the same topic.

When I meditate on the details and how-to’s and uh-ohs, my power stance putters.

When I meditate on what is being created, it jazzes me so much I could levitate.  It fills my faith tank so fully that I’ve got too much readiness to believe the bad.

What a thing to NOT to feel guilty about what the world deems important.  (Note to Mom: No, that doesn’t mean I’ll stop being responsible.  I will continue to work hard, pay my bills, remember peoples’ birthdays and to eat my vegetables.)

What I am learning, rather, is to not give attention to the squeakiest wheel and instead give focus to my INNER BEING.

My life – your life – is a petri dish.  We establish (or not) a vibrational ecosystem that supports (or not) what we desire.

What is manifesting (or not) is what is dominant in our thoughts. Thoughts become THINGS.

“If you are not realizing movement on a topic, this influence of your inner being is being dominated by opposing thought.” – Abraham Hicks

What?  You mean I’m hamstringing my own progress by entertaining opposing thoughts?

I thought I was just being practical!

Instead, I choose to be impractical and simultaneously psyched about the pipeline and its contents.  THAT is where the fun is!

And SATISFACTION – right here and now, while you are “waiting” is proof that you are in alignment with SOURCE, God, the Universe, or however you wish to describe the Almighty Power that created ALL of this.

Find as many ways to feel as good as you can feel.

BLISS OUT.

Worry is not how you love people, least of all yourself.  Worry is clutter and resistance to that which we seek to manifest.

So what do I do today?

What inspires me.

My inner being (just like curling in the Olympics) creates a path of least resistance to my dream (which shall be referred to as REALITY from now on) as I chip away at little pieces through inspiration.

Find the POWER as you patiently wait. Don’t wait in loss or longing or lack.  Wait in joyful anticipation.  Enjoy it BEFORE it shows up in the physical.

And know that for this very thing; this moment in time, you exist.  The spark of Divine put inside of you the desire to create this very thing – not to frustrate you!  No! To give you a juicy vision, full of vitality and friskiness, as the cake bakes in the oven.

Who knew patience carried with it such power?  Here are my parting thoughts and the new WOW:

https://youtu.be/4_C3OqGYgsE

A two-fer!  That makes sense since it’s going to fuel us for two weeks!

May your “to-do” list be completed.  I trust that it will.

And don’t forget to let your SOUL win the day, not the drumbeat of what you can see, feel, taste, smell and hear.

xoxoxoxo

Brenda

 

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Let Your Heart De-Light (and the New WOW)

The carol goes, “Let your heart BE light…” but I’m flipping it to “Let your heart DE-light” in honor of our recent Word of the Week.

There’s nothing like treats in the mail (instead of bills) to delight your heart, and my cup ran over with jelly and jam joy with this package from my Aunt Joan upon my return to Sarasota:

Aunt Joan gets regular shout outs on this blog for her constant love and support.  However, she will be scolded this week for totally blowing any semblance of my diet with her amazing “What are they called?” fruity, crumbly cookies.

I ate them all.

Myself.

But the pièce de résistance of her over-the-top gift package was the silver cuff that sits atop the jams in the above photo, engraved with these words:

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.

How true!  I started 2017 with the intention that it would be an “annus mirabilis” or “year of miracles.”  It was all that and a bag of chips, but the road was forged with grit and tears, hopes and fears marked by bold and brave moves that surprised even myself.

When the dust settled, I marveled at the complete and utter paradigm shift that had occurred.

My life had been completely upended, purposefully.

It was HARD.  Detoxing from Zoloft, settling into a single person’s life, finding a new rhythm and learning to love me, myself and I was a journey as jungle-like as my trek to Costa Rica.

My expectation was that I’d navigate this new way of life for a few years and then, maybe, someone might come along that I’d like enough to spend time with.

The universe had other plans, and now I find myself in love with a guy who wants to sit and map out our intentions together for 2018.

If I’m dreaming, please, nobody wake me up.

That’s not to say violins are playing and I have stardust in my eyes.  Life is real and relationships are the best opportunity to put to work all the spiritual truths collected over the course of a lifetime.

Here’s the kicker:  This is a man who laughs.  Alot.

He laughs when I get all wonked out about imaginary fears.  When I spill the soup all over the counter and miss the bowl, he chuckles.  I trekked him through an entire parking garage at the airport until I realized we were in the WRONG garage.

At every turn, I’m braced for the blow; the harsh, eye-rolling, “Brenda!” tinged with exasperation.

Yet the blow never comes.

Every time I get all heavy, Mark Roach gets all LIGHT.  And not in a diminishing or condescending way.  He just thinks that life is too precious to get all riled up about insignificant stuff.

These kind responses are healing another layer of my heart so bruised from being so darned hard on myself for far too long.

If you ever struggle with giving yourself a break, my closing thoughts on delight will hopefully encourage your heart.  Plus, we have a fantastic new Word of the Week (and Word of the YEAR!):

What do you want to be?

WHO do you want to be?

What do you want to become?

Where do you want to live?

What do you want to do?

These questions that I posed extemporaneously in this week’s video are the very ones I am asking myself as I head into 2018.  I hope you will ask yourself the same and we can begin INTENTIONALLY our year of TRANSFORMATION.

Much love to you all –

Brenda

xoxoxox

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My Christmas Surprise (and the New WOW)

Sometimes life hits you with a surprise and it feels like a dream.

My friends, this is my story – and it is a very happy one.

As you know, my marriage ended in 2017 and my goal was simply for PEACE; to rediscover Brenda and reclaim her joy.  I wanted to become whole, authentic and to carve out a life that made space for my dreams, gave Spirit free reign and brought healing to my heart.

In none of the above-listed equations was a man-component envisioned.

The love story I was working on was the one with MYSELF.

Who knew that this very emphasis would unlock the door to meeting someone special?

It was QUITE a surprise.

But before we get to the good part, there were plenty of entertaining detours!

For months, friends encouraged me to “get back out there”…but I didn’t want to.  I just wanted to enjoy my peaceful apartment, go to Toastmasters meetings, dance at Zumba, hang at he CitySide lobby with my new friends and read good books in solitude.

I did all of that, but then I got a little bit lonely.

My friends, Larry and Brian, scolded me.  “It’s 2017, Brenda!  You need an online dating profile!”

NO WAY.

Brian gently suggested that I open my mind; that I could be selective and set my boundaries.  That I could swipe and delete and be in control of the experience…and that I should at least TRY.

After some resistance, I became WordGirl22 on Our Time, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish.

A series of painfully wrong dates ensued – one with a man that demanded that I “twirl for him” so he could see my physique.

I did not twirl.

After a week of thinking there were actually only tin cans instead of good catches in the fishing pool, I disgustedly looked through the latest photo gallery of candidates hitting “No…no…no…no…”

…but then, out of nowhere, “Hmmmmmm…..”

He had dimples.  I’ve always been a sucker for dimples.

Boldly, I wrote, “Nice dimples.”

And the rest is history.

The dimples were attached to a lovely man named Mark who has become my best friend and has made this holiday season both merry and bright.

I felt the need to share this with you because you have been with me for the lows, and I wanted to give equal time to the highs.  Plus, some of you have seen me posing with a handsome man on Facebook and “Inquiring minds want to know!”

So now you know.  My smile is higher wattage and the exercise of building a relationship is putting into practice all the internal spiritual lessons and healing I have sought this year.

What a happy surprise!

And an encouragement to all of you that, whatever pain you may have faced this year – on the other side of it is a gift that you could never have experienced any other way.

May yours show up soon!  (And when it does, please tell me about it!)

In the meantime, I talk about my supportive friend Kevin in this week’s video, and have for us all a perfectly DELIGHTFUL new Word of the Week:

Kevin is just one of the friends that turned my year from traumatic to tremendous.  Thanks, little brother!

Sending you all huge doses of love and DELIGHT.

May all of your dreams come true –

xoxoxox

Brenda

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Hold that Thought! (It Becomes Your Vision)

My brain can be like Grand Central Station; a steady flow of traffic with each thought vying to gain some traction.

I’ve entertained far too many thoughts that never deserved my attention. 

Entertain is a good word choice.  Thoughts knock at our door and the majority should be treated like unwanted  solicitors.  Would you invite a stranger in for coffee and to set up housekeeping in the spare room?

Of course not.

So why did that pretty mist-colored laptop on HSN end up in my house?

Well, I kept LISTENING, and the more I entertained the thoughts surrounding the laptop and imagined using it, the less the $500 price tag troubled me.

Even though I already have a perfectly good laptop.

(Yes, I returned it.)

But the point is, what thoughts we entertain give us imaginations or VISIONS that can actually become reality.

I’ve learned to approach my thoughts like a buffet.  I used to try to get my money’s worth and took advantage of “all you can eat.”  Indigestion and regret usually followed.

I’ve learned to be more choosy at the buffet, only selecting what I’m in the mood for at the moment.  (This can lead to a focused attack on the desserts, but that’s another story.)

When it comes to our thought lives, it’s wise to understand that not everything that flies into our brains merits consideration.

But some things DO.

I bet some of the most brilliant entrepreneurial ideas started with just a thread of a thought.

This very blog started with a “Hmmmmm” moment in a float tank.

How many relationships ended in happily ever afters because someone thought, “I’ll give online dating a try!”

My sister took a calligraphy class decades ago, and she has been gainfully employed doing what she loves ever since.

Does it make your heart leap?  Does it bring hope?  Then by all means HOLD THAT THOUGHT!

Nurture it and let it breathe.  Water it and fertilize it and who knows – it can end up being a full-blown vision.

Were you as captivated as I was by Prince Harry’s engagement announcement this week?  I didn’t know much about Meghan Markle until I saw this video, which is an example of holding a THOUGHT and taking action based on that thought to effect change:

I think Diana is smiling, don’t you?

So let’s not get caught up in VISIONS of grandeur that overwhelm us.  Let’s start with a thought, and then play with it a little.

I did that this week and it turned me a bit upside down!

https://youtu.be/la8hY9xh9-U

Oooooh…sisters and brothers.  We ARE a resilient bunch!  I feel like this is a week where our mantra should come from Dirty Dancing:  “No one puts baby in a corner.”

Let’s go out, rise up and seize the week!

xoxoxox

Brenda

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This One’s For My Sister (and the New WOW)

My sister has been my chief cheerleader and support system for 54 years.

When I cried incessantly as a baby, my parents threatened to put me up for sale in a wheelbarrow by the road.

I think in today’s world, someone would have called child protective services, but back then it was their way of saying, “If this child doesn’t stop screaming, we’re going to lose it!”

Of course, they never INTENDED to sell me, but my five-year-old sister couldn’t grasp the nuance of dark humor yet, so SHE began to scream and beg for my life.

She wanted me, tears and all.

She still does.

Always more comfortable with a drawing pad or lost in a good book, she never failed to encourage my more “outward” pursuits.  She schlepped me to Philadelphia from Buena, NJ to get my  head shots taken. When I competed in the Miss Magic 103 radio contest, and belted out my Cher impressions for the world to hear, no one laughed louder. Before and after big events,she sends me handwritten cards or flowers.  And when I’m blue? She reminds me that better days are coming.  Usually in about two weeks, if you mark it on the calendar. In man respects, my sister Shirlee has been my guardian angel.

Shirlee DiBacco has always avoided the spotlight, yet has always helped my face find the sun.

And this past Friday night she made her acting debut!

Forever she has loved the play “Our Town” by Thornton Wilder. An “Our Town” groupie, she’s seen the play from New York to Hammonton numerous times.  She quotes from the play, because to her, there’s a line from “Our Town” to fit any situation.

And then she saw an ad that her community theatre in Somers Point, NJ would be holding auditions for…”Our Town.”

She tried to talk herself out of it, but couldn’t shake it.  When she showed up, she practically recited an encyclopedic knowledge of the play.  She would have paid the producers to give her a part.

No need.  So captivated by her enthusiasm, she handily won the part of “Woman in the Balcony.”  The woman with a movie star face who always took a back seat and applauded for everyone else is finally having her moment.

Her friend Barb, husband Tony, friend Chris – and the STAR, my sister, Shirlee, celebrating with ice cream after Our Town’s debut on Friday night.

And I am so proud of her I could just burst.

I’m flying up to see her final matinee next Sunday, the 12th. And I am equally delighted that she (and my mom) picked our new Word of the Week!

I wonder what new things are right around the corner for us this week?

Let’s be explorers!

xoxoxoxo

Brenda

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Yippee – It’s Mine! Now, Let it Go (and the New WOW)

For many years I struggled with the concept of success and “getting what’s mine.”

For much of my 20’s and 30’s, I enviously observed other people achieving results, living exciting lives full of travel and material wealth and I longed for the same.

It seemed that there was a glass partition that I just couldn’t break through, keeping me from accessing life from the driver’s seat of the limo. This wasn’t a question in the back of my mind – it was in the FOREFRONT:  “Why can’t I connect the dots?  What am I missing?”

For as long as I’ve been me, I’ve wanted to live life to the fullest.  Along the way, I got sidetracked and convinced myself that I could settle into mediocrity and still be happy.

Here’s the thing: the definition of mediocre is different for everyone.  My idea of living high might be settling for you (and vice versa).

At our core, though, we know what we are capable of and what will make us fulfilled.  If we fall short, the question “Why?” is a worthy one.

One day I had my breakthrough.  The time I actually got an ANSWER to the question was on an ordinary day as I was driving home from work.

In my spirit, I heard, “You don’t really believe that there’s plenty to go around.  You believe in the idea of abundance, but not as a reality for YOU.  Do you truly believe that there is unlimited success, wealth, potential, blessing, resources available to you?  Then start acting like it.”

It clicked.

My prayer life changed.  I started THANKING God for provision.  I started EXPECTING favor.  

And my life took a major shift from scarcity to abundance – not just materially, but mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Louis Vuitton handbags showed up in the mail (thank you, Shirlee.) I became an occasional guest at the Ritz-Carlton (thanks to my fairy godmother and father – you know who you are).

Yes, kindness and generosity flowed to me from amazing people.

And I even started to manifest some of my own miracles.  Speaking engagements and freelance gigs flowed to me, including travel to places I’d always dreamed of going.

But the shining example of my new way of living life abundantly was my beautiful home in Sarasota.  I’ve told you the story before, but it always held up as a high-water mark of proof that God loved me and wanted to give me the desires of my heart.

I wanted to live there forever.  I would proclaim to anyone, “This is my dream house.  I’ll spend the rest of my life here.”

Until faced with the decision to surrender it.

There was a critical point where I had to choose:  Should I stay in the house of my dreams…or start living the LIFE of my dreams?

At my core I know that no matter how beautiful the home or breathtaking the pool and jacuzzi, I had no peace.

I once read a quote (paraphrased), “Your net worth will never be greater than your self-worth.” – Robin Sharma

Here’s a good one, too:

Once I “got” the lesson about abundance, the second round of revelation was wrapped around the question, “Would my STUFF define me?”

What we have can have US; it can lock us up in a prison (a very comfortable one, mind you), but it can suppress what should be an irrepressible spirit.

This is not to say that I have since renounced abundance.  Hell no!  Remember, I’m the girl who wore her false eyelashes to a spartan retreat in Costa Rica and who goes to the lobby of the RItz Carlton just to sniff it.  (Really, it smells divine.)

But Brenda 2.0 is not beholden to any of the trappings of this life. Yes, they can be fun and the icing on the cake…but the cake is the peace in my heart, the love I have for myself and the respect I now give my tender soul.

I speak more about this in my closing thoughts on SURRENDER:

Here is what is so amazing and cool and miraculous about our new, never before received WOW, release:  When I stood in those rushing waters in Costa Rica, I asked for a RELEASE of creativity.  I asked for my laughter to be unleashed.  (And a few other private things that also go along with this wonderful word.)

My friends, perhaps the universe is saying that on the other side of our surrender; if we’re willing to let go of what has held us captive; if we relinquish your fears and let the white flag wave on the life we THOUGHT was our dream come true – what awaits us all is RELEASE.

Woo-hoo!  I’m doing a happy dance for all of us.

So now that I’ve told you mine, please tell me about your surrenders and releases. It makes this journey together all the more wonderful to share them.

Much love,

Brenda

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Listen for Wisdom (and the New WOW)

Discernment is a gift, and it is offered to those who LISTEN.

How I wish answers would arrive via FedEx with a 20-point outline and a comprehensive road map to get me from A to Z.

For me, it doesn’t happen that way.  But discernment DOES provide what is needed, and here’s what it is:

YOUR NEXT STEP.

That’s all you need, you know.  And it’s so LIBERATING to know that one next step, because then you can ACT on it.  Action produces a powerful chain of events that stirs up the universe on your behalf, and next thing you know, the NEXT next step becomes clear.

I started the year writing out my goals and, well, that’s all I knew to do!  I didn’t know HOW they were all going to happen, but writing them down was my first step.

They stare at me while I spend endless hours here at the computer, working.

Sometimes I chuckle, “I wonder how THAT’s gonna happen…”  My chuckle is not one of cynicism, but more of wonder and awe, because the very fact that I sit at a computer working from my HOME and in FLORIDA no less, is proof positive that the most unlikely wishes can and do, in fact, materialize.

We stew on our dreams and in stewing, seek answers, but not in a frantic, desperate way. When the time is right, the answers flow to us, don’t they? 

We just need to be open – and quiet ourselves enough to listen for the answer.

I’m not being very specific, am I?

What has me excited right now is my current NEXT STEP. I told you about joining the local Toastmasters club and doing so has invigorated me.  I didn’t know there was a tribe of geeky speakers just like me in the world!

Another organization I joined last August – and, for the life of me, I wasn’t sure WHY – was the Sarasota Yacht Club (SYC).  Duane likes showing up and having his martini waiting for him; I like the water views…we feel a little like Thurston Howell the 3rd and his wife, Lovey – but, as the song goes, “Is that all there is?”

Sometimes it takes time for the answers to show up.

My friend, Kyle, always urged me to sign up for volunteer tasks at the Club and I was totally CLOSED to the suggestion.  After all, I’m busy enough with my two full-time jobs, my consulting work, Zumba, friends, family and Shasta. (Not necessarily in that order.)

However, the SYC has a ladies’ group, the GEMS, and I have thoroughly enjoyed attending their monthly luncheons. These ladies are awesomely accomplished; leaders in their respective fields and many have retired but their stories of accomplishments keep me on the edge of my seat.

At a recent meeting, the GEMS announced they wanted a new logo and shared a concept with the group that was met with a collective, “Meh.”  Those that were energized were on the negative side: “Our logo is just fine as is!”

I love mediating tension, especially when I see a path forward.  Long story short, I volunteered to head up the logo committee and it’s been invigorating and successful, while giving me an opportunity to present before the GEMS group.

I think I’ve found another tribe.  And a dream is being birthed of expanding my speaking engagements from the government sector to the SYC and its affiliated clubs nationwide.

Nothing like thinking big, right?

My point is that you may not have a clue why you are doing something today, but if you keep your ears (and your heart) open, the answer will flow to you.

As will the NEXT STEP.

I’m rooting you on all the way as I share my near surrender to despair from this past week as well as the new WOW:

Yes!  Be KIND to yourself this week!

When the nasty little voices of fear try to diminish where you’re at and paint a dark picture of where you’re going, KICK IT TO THE CURB.

I heard an interview with one of the singers of the Little River Band in recent weeks and what was said encouraged me:  Keep working at your craft and the art will show up.

In other words, keep at it, friends. If it is in you to do, keep doing it.

The art; the magic will show up.

Love, love, love and tons of kindness to you –

xoxoxox

Brenda

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Big Can Be Scary (But Do it Anyway)

Here’s the funny thing about talking a BIG game (or dreaming a big dream):

When the opportunity comes to DO something about it, it can scare the bejeezus out of you.

Oh, there are those serendipitous times when you have so LIVED that thing in your mind, you’re quite prepared when it shows up.  You welcome it like a long lost friend.

Sometimes we’re so used to slugging a thing out and waiting and waiting that we’re shocked when it shows up, seemingly prematurely.  (Like when the doorbell rings and it’s unexpected company.)

These “surprise” answers to prayer often reveal the level of our unbelief.

But hey, just like when unexpected company shows up, you can pull it together!  Fire up the coffee pop, defrost that coffee cake, do a quick Febreze and you’re ready to go! (Maybe not your Class A, gold standard ready to go, but at least you answered the door!)

Have you ever had those times when company shows up and you LOVE them but you decide to act like you’re not home?  I know, YOU would never do that (!) but some people have been known to.  Like my favorite comedian, Sebastian Maniscalco in this bit:

Getting back to my thoughts on EXPANSIVENESS – our fear to “answer the door” is often related to the unknown of the BIG opportunity facing you.

Or the security/comfort presented by the KNOWN “not so big” situation in which you currently find yourself.

One thing I’ve learned in life though is “if it’s meant to be yours, it WILL come to you when you are ready.”

In my professional life, I started out talking a big game and beat out thousands to win a slot as one of the original QVC show hosts.  But my talk didn’t really reside in my heart…and within months the opportunity disintegrated.  I was devastated.  Heartbroken.

It took a long time to even begin to dream again, let alone to think big.

And life is a progression, isn’t it?

What was BIG to me in 1980 seems like small potatoes now!

Every time I start to feel comfy cozy in my station in life, I get a little nudge in my heart that says, “Don’t stop.”

For those of you who feel today like you missed the boat in life (or that a particular ship has sailed) – shake that off.

If it is a desire you can’t shake, it is meant to be yours.  Prepare yourself on the inside to RECEIVE it…and then to be able to SUSTAIN it. 

If the internal script is a negative one (I’ll never…No one ever…It won’t…) CHANGE it.  No one else can do that for you.

Interestingly, MY lesson learned this week had very little to do with thinking and dreaming big.  It was about being a BIG person on the inside…and it humbled me.  True confessions and the new WOW, coming right up:

May we all summon the STRENGTH inside of us and face this week with courage – with BIG, forgiving hearts that let love win.

x0x0x0x0x

Brenda

 

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A Serious Nudge from the Universe (the WOW for 2.14.16)

I have so many thoughts about our new WOW, let’s just jump right into it.  And please forgive my momentary bursts into song.

It was just that kind of day:

Seriously gang, we’ve gotten the word RISK THREE TIMES since I started pulling a word of the week!

I have to say, too, that I always put the cards back in the bag sort of strategically (around the edges) because truthfully, I like getting NEW words.

So we make plans and God laughs.

And the universe is nudging.

I remember back in the 70’s I was hugely into roller skating. Every Saturday my Dad would drop me off for my beginner lesson followed by a “free skate” matinee.  After the matinee an intermediate-level class was scheduled (They jumped!  And spun!) that I LONGED to go to.  My best friend, Chrissy Johnson was in that class, and on this particular Saturday I was staying through her super-cool kids class so I could go home with her for a sleepover that night.

I sat in one of the benches in the perimeter just WISHING I could be in the class with her.

After a few minutes passed, I got the brilliant idea that if the teachers could only see how Dorothy Hamill-ish I was (on wheels, not blades) they would surely stop everything, roll over to me and invite me to join in.

While those in the rink were practicing their turns and leaps, I began trying to do the same outside of the railing.  I even had the hand movements down, flailing my arms in what I thought were artistic and inspired ways.

Nothing.

So I did a few jumps (a bit loudly) to show I wasn’t afraid of being airborne.

Nada.

I positioned myself right in front of the windowed booth where the “DJ” and management were stationed and did a thrilling demonstration of an arched-back stop, directly blocking their entire view and ending with a head toss and blinding smile in their direction.

All that was missing was a “ta-da!” and wild applause.

As I waited for the inevitable “Where have you BEEN all our lives?” instead it was announced over the loudspeaker that if you were not a student in the intermediate class to please be seated as the perimeter was not intended for performances, which were distracting to the REAL skaters.

Okay, they didn’t say it exactly like that, but I got the point.

By now, how many of you are saying to yourself, “Where the heck is she going with this story?”

Well, I’ll tell ya.

It has occurred to me that much of my life I have been waiting to be DISCOVERED.  Maybe you have, too.

Surely if we perform well enough, some benevolent soul will see what the world has been missing and give us a platform (or rink…or a stage with spotlights..or a raise…or permission to move…or a  – well, fill in the blank for whatever you’ve been longing for).

What has struck me is that this is a very passive (aggressive), but weak approach to getting what you want out of life.

I don’t want OTHER people to hold the power for my destiny.  Why should my sense of happiness and fulfillment be contingent on someone other than me believing in me?!

Instead of the theatrics or exhausting performances (which never got me much, how about you?) perhaps this RISK word is saying, “Um, why don’t YOU just go for what you want out of life?” Or (shockingly) just ask for it!

We fear putting ourselves out there because of the chance of rejection.  But hearing the word no, last time I checked, wasn’t a fatal blow.

Had that nine-year-old girl risked it and just ASKED if she could participate in the class, who knows, they might have let me!

Or, they might have said no because of a very good reason.

Instead, my takeaway was that I just wasn’t good enough.  Because in my little girl mind, had I been good enough they would have made an exception for me.

My 52-year old self knows how ridiculous that sounds. But if I transpose that experience into the  present-day, I consider that some of my takeaways in life have been based on faulty premises; premises born of dancing around my desires because I was too afraid to claim them for my own and head squarely in their direction.

Even with this blogging venture, there has been this little part of me that has thought, “Maybe if Elizabeth Gilbert or Oprah would somehow see and like something I’ve written and share it with their respective 5 billion followers, I can…”

…I can what?

Hmmm…good question!  After a moment’s fear about the answer, here goes:

I can fulfill my dream of encouraging people full-time, writing a book, speaking around the country about life lessons, helping people give themselves a break, make them laugh and in the process bring some joy into their lives.

Yep.  That’s my dream. But I can’t pin my hopes on Liz or Oprah (though hey, ladies, if you’re out there…) riding in on a white Mercedes to make my dreams come true.

Here’s one thing I believe – our dreams are planted in our hearts from the time we are born. They are Divine.  They were never deposited in our hearts to be a thorn or to frustrate us through life.

Your dreams, my dreams – they were meant to bloom.

So I say to all of us this week, don’t abdicate your dreams. Let’s not dance around our life’s vision.

Oh!  And for some of you, please give yourselves permission to HAVE a dream…to want something. Whether it is your health, a husband, a new car or an artistic outlet…let it breathe this week.

Take the risk of admitting what you want. And with risk as our nudging WOW, maybe even ask for it. 

One reader at a time, one day at a time, I’m practicing what I’m preaching.

And I’m cheering you on all the way.

xoxoxox

Brenda

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