Tag Archives: Complaining

Celebrate BAD Times, C’mon! (and the New WOW)

I should have anticipated that, upon picking the word Celebrate that the next two weeks would provide opportunities to grumble, complain, moan and groan.

It’s always that way with the WOW; it challenges me (and some of you, too) to embrace a positive in the midst of the speedbumps of life.

Enter edition 5.0 of Adventures in Airports.

Each quarter, I fly to Philly and participate in work meetings. Whenever possible, I try to fly out of Sarasota, because the local airport is literally five minutes from my home.  There are never direct flights (yet, I’m praying that will change) to PHL from SRQ, but the hour drive time to and from Tampa usually makes up the difference.

So SRQ it was, and a mid-afternoon flight stopping in Atlanta. Let me begin by telling you everything that went wrong.

Once settled at the gate, the thunderbolts came, and with them, the first of 3 delays.

At the first announced delay, some fellow passengers began grumbling.  One woman started to freak out a bit.  A seasoned traveler, I thought to myself, “Chill lady. You’ll get there…eventually.”

You know that scripture, “Judge not, lest you be judged?”  By the third announced delay I WAS that hyperventilating woman, and it was clear that no Sarasota flight would get me to Philly by the next morning.

A quick search revealed a Tampa flight leaving in two hours.  Scurrying to retrieve my bag (carry-on size, but holding a huge hairspray, therefore checked), I hailed a cab and said, “Get me to Tampa ASAP.”

There would be just enough time to arrive, check in, get through security and make the flight.

Except after 20 minutes of smooth sailing, traffic halted to a standstill.

As the minutes ticked off, I began Googling OTHER flights.  My only other options were revealed to be connections to Newark rather than Philly, and an earliest arrival time of around 11 AM.  Two and a half hours AFTER the start of the meeting.

Yes, it occurred to me during this tense standstill that CELEBRATE was the just-revealed Word of the Weeks.  Which I found utterly annoying.

Then my phone battery died.  I had no USB charger, only one that would fit an electrical outlet.  And my taxi driver’s phone was a Samsung, not an Apple.

Did I mention that the thunderstorms followed me during the entire route?

When, just a little over a half an hour before the flight was to board, I arrived at the American Airlines terminal, the check-in screen informed me that it was too late to check my bag.

Goodbye $15 can of hair spray.

Trudging through security, I beelined it for the gate.  As I found myself starting to relax and even celebrate making the flight, the monitors announced that those of us attempting to get to Philly would be delayed.  First an hour.  Then almost two.

I’d get to my destination around 1 AM.

Did I mention that to fill the void and the sheer boredom of waiting in airports for a total of 5 hours I ingested every unhealthy, carb and sugar laden  option available to me?

By the time I arrived, I was exhausted, bloated, grumpy and…grateful.

Because here is everything that went RIGHT:

I never pack a carry-on sized bag.  NEVER.  I love having several shoe and clothing options, my makeup case is almost the size of a carry-on itself, and I HATE hoisting a carry-on and flailing to shove it in the overhead.

But for some odd reason, I DID pack my smaller luggage.  Had I not, when I finally checked in at Tampa, I could have gotten on the flight – but with  no luggage.  Which would have been my particular idea of hell on earth.

Did I mention when I booked that last minute flight from Tampa that first-class one way was actually CHEAPER than the main cabin?

When I went to board, the flight attendant looked at my maximum sized carry-on and quite large computer case and said, “Ma’am, you can’t board with both of those items…”

You should have seen the look on my face.

Until she said, “Unless you are in first-class.”

A cause to celebrate. I nodded, numbly, thanking my lucky stars that by some sheer twist of fate, I was indeed in first class.

Which enabled me to plug in my phone.

So I could find out that my wonderful brother/friend, Steve, would personally pick me up from the airport in the wee hours of the morning.

And take me to his home where the most comforting person on earth, Renee, would have my pillows fluffed and soft music playing when I arrived.

So many things went wrong, yes.  But so many things went RIGHT.

It’s all how you look at a thing.  (Which was ultimately the correct conclusion I came to, after kvetching and moaning and grumbling.)

The scriptures say that complaining overwhelms your spirit.  I would add that celebrating buoys your spirit.

Our days are full of plot twists. We can’t control what happens to us, but we sure can choose how we RESPOND to what happens to us.  So why not celebrate?

And sometimes, that’s what makes all the difference.

It seems like the universe is continuing with this theme of positivity.  I blapped out a word during my closing thoughts on CELEBRATION…and wouldn’t you know, it was a precursor to the new WOW.  Here we go!

Oh yes!  Let’s raise our respective vibrations and expect more good stuff.

By the way, for my SW Florida area friends, I am conducting my first open-to-the-public workshop on August 11th at 11 AM at Davis Hall (Sarasota Center of Light).  It’s all about how to raise your vibration when you’re “Running on Empty.”

The workshop leads participants through a 7 step self-assessment. It’s enlightening! The Hall is located at 852 S. Tuttle Avenue in Sarasota. BYOC! (Bring Your Own Coffee)

We’ll laugh ALOT and learn, too…and the point is to spend time on YOU so you can course correct and get that happy tank full again.  Click on the above photo or here to link to the event and buy a ticket.  (Best $25 you’ll ever spend.) Please share with a friend (and I hope to see you there!)

Love,

Brenda

Share This:

Understanding and Knowledge (& the New WOW)

This past couple of weeks I’ve been studying a subject about which I truly need knowledge.

I liken to process to pulling a thread from a sweater and watching it unravel. Just when I complete one webinar on the topic, it ends up raising ten other questions  needing answers.  Which results in signing up for another five webinars, all of which end in a sales pitch with the goal to get my credit card out and sign up for their advanced courses.

I’m gaining knowledge, yes.

But I want to make the leap to UNDERSTANDING. Until that bridge is crossed, information is simply overwhelming.

When facts and knowledge overload my mind, I stop feeling the joy and excitement of the original idea.  It doesn’t feel good.

My original idea (brilliant, but requiring knowledge to execute) literally descended on me as I was walking on the pretty Ringling Bridge on Memorial Day morning.  It dropped into my mind like a gift.  Without angst! Without even trying! Inspiration filled my heart and ideas flowed. Doors opened; resources came to me like a moth to a flame.

You know that feeling when you know you’re on to something?  At that beautiful stage when you haven’t tried to figure out HOW it’ll get done – you just have a clear vision of its awesomeness upon completion?

Maintaining that initial vibe while filling in the gaps of knowledge has been the challenge.

Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE to learn.  But even more, I love to ACT.  And until understanding comes, I don’t have a green light in my heart to take action.

Understanding is the green light in your heart that says, “Aha!  You’ve got it.  Go for it.”

Understanding is also the red light in your heart that whispers, “Don’t you dare get out that credit card.”

This past year has all been about allowing myself to feel my feelings and learning to NEVER underestimate them.  Our feelings are guideposts, indicating our connection (or lack of) connection to SOURCE (God, Spirit, The Force – however you wish to refer to the Divine.)

Or as they said in the 60’s, “If it feels good, do it.”

The completed vision?  Feels amazing.

It’s the ruminating on the gaps between start and finish that try to trip us up.

Many of us dream dreams, but we focus on how far from manifesting they seem.

We seek relationships or financial freedom or weight loss, and we mull over how elusive these desires appear to be. 

All of which only focuses on the LACK.  And what you focus on is what you (and I) ATTRACT.

In other words, keep complaining about it, and you’ll keep having it (or not having it.)

So what do we do because we DO need to fill in those gaps?

What’s working for me is to stay on the path of least resistance.

When it stops flowing, I stop going. 

When I hit a brick wall in progress, I distract myself with something entirely different – something that reignites my joy level.  It could be an episode of Shark Tank (I’m obsessed) or watching Amy Sedaris’ Instagram videos (also obsessed).  America’s Got Talent never fails to bring a heartfelt tear to my eyes.  And a good mani/pedi is another great distraction.

The dream WILL be accomplished; the gaps filled in.  But I refuse to worry about the HOW. 

Why? Because my overriding UNDERSTANDING is this:  God does not put a dream in our heart for it to be frustrated.  It is a seed that we must tend to with love.  And for it to spring forth and bear fruit, we must nurture OURSELVES.

If you feel overwhelmed or sad or just a little off about your particular dream, wish, or want, distract yourself with something lovely.  Conjure up in your imagination the feelings of how wonderful that elusive thing will be while counting your blessings about the right here right now.

Stay in a happy place.

Doing so will keep you in a receptive mode for more serendipitous encounters with creativity, people and other miracles.

More thoughts on UNDERSTANDING, provoked by the recent and tragic suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain…and the new WOW, comin’ right up!

OMG – that just confirms it.  Keep that vibe high!  Celebrate like it’s already happened.  Don’t apologize for your joyful exuberance!

I’m excited for all of us to delight in this wonderful word that invites us to fan the flame of every happy feeling.

Love to you all!

xoxoxoxox

Brenda

Share This:

Fertilize Your Life with Appreciation (& the New WOW)

Sometimes you can feel like you’re under a pile of doo-doo, but later you realize (with appreciation) that it’s just meant to fertilize your life.

The seed of your dream is in the ground, and it is sometimes a dark place, compounded by the compost of, well, poopy circumstances.

Can I use any more childlike words to describe #$it?

I know that those of you who read my posts are generally like-minded; we seek to GROW our lives, don’t we?

My recent attendance at an Abraham Hicks workshop gave me an AHA that turned into a recent Toastmasters speech that I plan to take to the International Competition. (Nothing like thinking big, right?)

Here it is in written form (which I need to pare down by about 500 words to make my time constraints!):

It was love at first sight.

I was 16 years old…and no, it wasn’t the captain of the football team.

It was a 1981 Chevy Camaro Berlinetta.

This story, however, is NOT about a car.

Still, let me paint a picture for you.

It was a second generation Camaro; the last with the rounded body style. Black leather bucket seats; a sun roof, silver pin-striping – I have no idea what engine type – but it didn’t matter…

…because it had air conditioning and an 8-track player…

It beckoned to me from the showroom floor.

Perhaps it was my mom’s way of honoring my dad’s memory – he was ALWAYS opposed to buying a used car.

Maybe it was the pleading look in my eye.

Whatever unseen miracle was at work, I drove that Berlinetta out of the showroom, certain it would

  • Solve all of my self-esteem issues,
  • Secure me a prom date and
  • Send my classmates into a jealous frenzy.

None of that happened, but what did happen was the minute I drove that car off of the lot, it depreciated by 11%. At the end of the first year, that percentage rose to 19%.

I learned the concept of DEPRECIATION.

Webster’s defines DEPRECIATE as to diminish in value over a period of time or to disparage or belittle. To DE-PRECIATE shrinks things.

Which got me thinking about APPRECIATION.

Could it be said that APPRECIATION grows things?

When I water and fertilize my flowers, they GROW. Saying “thank you” or complimenting a friend GROWS a relationship. When I make deposits into my savings, that account GROWS.

APPRECIATION is like a magical super-sizer.

Famed inspirational speaker and motivational coach Tony Robbins said it this way:

You’re enjoying the sunny Sarasota sunshine. (Or imagine that you are, dear Northerners!)

It brings a smile to your face.

You’re walking down main street and say to a passerby, “Isn’t it a beautiful day?”

They agree, smiling.

And your appreciation has made a beautiful day even better by the very act of appreciating it.

Appreciation GROWS things.

When I throw my Burger King wrapper in my garden bed, it chokes the roots.

If I don’t tend to the weeds or protect my plants from critters or pests, they fall prey.

My actions – or lack –  of appreciation can either SPEED or IMPEDE growth.

Appreciation is ACTIVE.

When I moved out on my own, my Camaro didn’t have the oil changed regularly.  (I hear you groaning.) It became a repository for fast food wrappers and dents and parking tickets from Glassboro State College. It eventually died on the highway.

Because of the way I DIDN’T take care of it, it had steadily diminished in value.

Had I appreciated it and cared for it, it might be a classic – the target of oohs and aahs at car shows.

And when it comes to matters of the heart and appreciation, I think of my marriage.

It started with roses and cards and praise…

…and ended in shouts and divisions of property and our very lives.

We stopped appreciating what we loved about each other and the marriage continued to shrink.

How do we DE-PRECIATE our lives? We:

  1. Nit pick
  2. Start complaining
  3. Focus on what’s wrong instead of what is right
  4. Let negative thoughts take up residence
  5. Poison our dreams by marinating on their impossibility

Has  anyone here been guilty of these?  Me too, so how do we FERTILIZE OUR LIVES? Through APPRECIATION.

  • Acknowledge what IS GOOD right now.
  • Praise progress – even baby steps.
  • Remember what obstacles you’ve surmounted.
  • Recall how far you’ve come.
  • And be good to YOU.

Yes, be nice to yourself.

Stop complaining about what you didn’t, should have or might have been or done.

The past is in your rear-view mirror. You’re not going there.

Regrets do NOT serve you or anyone else. Guilt is a non-productive emotion, and if you look ahead, the sun is shining – always, even behind the clouds.

I want my life to GROW.  I want MORE GOOD STUFF – and  I don’t want to take the blessings of life for granted until they de-preciate from view.

What do you love – who do you love, RIGHT NOW?

  • Fertilize
  • Compliment
  • Applaud
  • Praise
  • Even worship it (or them) with appreciation

AND WATCH YOUR LIFE GROW.

We had two less-than-sexy words this past two weeks, but I was inspired with a fun take on RESPONSIBILITY and TRUST.  Here it is, plus the new WOW:

It’s a mandate to go with the flow, my friends.

May that flow take you ever closer to the life you’ve imagined.

xoxoxoxo

Brenda

 

 

Share This:

No Crying on the Devil’s Shoulder (and the New WOW)

Many years ago, a friend suggested to me that complaining and feeling sorry for myself was like “crying on the devil’s shoulder.”

This analogy struck me with a visual that always caused me think twice about letting my feelings run a muck.

When I reflect on my teens, 20’s and much of my 30’s, I wasted a bunch of time crying over things that wouldn’t change by crying.

The tears didn’t serve me, they only fueled the pain.

To be clear, I LOVE a good, cleansing cry.  The kind that makes you want to call everyone you know and tell them you love them; the kind that relieves stress like air leaving a balloon – and a good snotty howl from a heartrending movie or book (yes, I’m talking about YOU, The Notebook and The Art of Racing in the Rain.)

Those pity party, “Oh woe is me!” cries?  As Janet Jackson would sing, “What have you done for me lately?”

When I peel back the curtain on those quicksand feels, I see they predominantly began with negative thoughts that, left unchecked, grew exponentially.  I played with those thoughts in the shallow waters and next thing I knew, the undertow whipped in and I was drowning in the deep end.

Which brings me to RESILIENCE, our most recent word of the week.  Resilience, to me, is like a tank that fuels our get up and go. Every complaint, every negative thought entertained, every pity party or surrender to fear depletes the tank.

When your get up and go has got up and went, check your resilience tank.

For me, encouraging someone fills my resilience tank.  Checking off an item from my to-do list; surprising a friend with a gift and yes, self-maintenance in the form of a mani, pedi, massage or blow dry fits the bill.

A walk on the beach at sunset.

Or simply deep breathing.

What fills YOUR resilience tank?

As we end this week, I hope the only parties you had were on Memorial Day (and certainly not pity parties!)

Onward to a brand, spanking new WOW:

Unmerited favor, ushered in through humility.

Yes, please – heavy doses needed!

May our cups run over with GRACE this week.

xxoxoxoxo

Love,

Brenda

Share This:

Keep Swimming (and the New WOW)

So with theaters packed with people seeing Finding Dory, I can’t wait to get my ticket. Dory exemplifies resilience, our recent Word of the Week, with her “Just keep swimming…” philosophy.

I reflected a bit this week on when my tank of resilience wanes and there’s a clear connection.

One of my favorite scriptures (Ps. 77:3) provides the insight:  Complaining overwhelms your spirit.

Your body and soul may give up, but your spirit has indomitable resources. The catch is NOT to overwhelm your spirit with complaining and to let that unsinkable cork inside of you WIN.

There’s a catch that sometimes snags me, though.  In the effort NOT to overwhelm my spirit, I sometimes choose to not “talk it out” (whatever IT is) with someone else, somewhat afraid that negative energy will be expended and sprinkle its evil pixie dust, making matters worse.

Then I realized that talking something through with the end goal to glean insights from an impartial party that might actually bring relief, resolve or at least COMFORT is a good thing.

If my intent is simply to whine, murmur, have a pity party and otherwise indulge the negative vibes that seek to swallow me into a quagmire of muck, then no – it’s best for me to shut my trap.

Perhaps Dory’s short term memory loss aids her ability to just KEEP SWIMMING.  

She can’t obsess over that thoughtless comment or perceived slight.  May all of our offenses have short-term memory!

Final thoughts on resilience and the new WOW coming right up…

There are SO many ways to look at this new WOW.

Aside from being WILLING personally, how do you view the world?

Here’s a nugget to chew on this week (I know I’m going to): What if you believed that at ever turn, things were actually working to benefit you; that God (the Universe; however you choose to define the Source) is WILLING to more than grant your desires.

One of the companies for which I work has a credo to “delight our customers and exceed their expectations.”

If a business can make that claim and fulfill it, how much more can the Author of life and the very Essence that is love make good on that brand promise?

Instead of expecting a fight (based on past experiences in the school of hard knocks) what if you made the shift to seeing every person and every circumstance as a willing participant in your happily-ever-after?

I’m willing to meditate on that this week.  How about you?

xoxoxox

Brenda

 

Share This: