Tag Archives: Adventure

An Adventure of the Soul

When the Word of the Week is adventure, it conjures up places to go, things to do and people to see. But when the world is on pause and the only adventures to be had are within the walls of your home, it forces a different kind of adventure.

See, you can’t escape yourself.

There you are. All the time.

If you’re fortunate enough to live with a saint like Mark, you don’t mind being hunkered down together.

But perhaps you, like me, are going a lil’ bit stir crazy?

My personal quarantine story is amplified by a thrilling new twist: weaning myself off of hormone replacement therapy.

Some people are going grey during COVID-19.

I may grow a beard!

Okay, that’s a poor attempt at humor (but I hope you laughed.)

My goal for 2020 was to be completely pharmaceutical-free. This journey began in 2017 when I quit Zoloft. The only drugs remaining in my system were low doses of estrogen and progesterone. And I fully intended to say goodbye to them, too…

…then COVID-19 hit.

When the pills ran out, I called my doctor and fully expected the refill to go through without a visit to her office. After all, the world is social distancing and if the situation isn’t dire, who should leave home to sit amongst sick people, right?

Wrong.

Told that I needed blood work to get my refill, I did what any hormonally-challenged woman would do. I burst into slobbering tears. Heaving, gulping tears.

The sloppy wailing held no sway with my doctor’s gatekeeper.

And I had no peace about venturing out for blood work. This stalemate, I knew, was a sign from the universe to stick it out and cold turkey the detox.

Kind Mark looked at my tear-streaked face (the third in as many days) and said, “Are you sure?”

He’s no fool. He’s got to LIVE with this wrecking ball of inflamed human emotion, wrapped in a bow of irrational thoughts, suspicions, dread and overwhelm.

I fully understand why he thought getting me some drugs might be a good idea!

However, the FLIPSIDE of this adventure in detoxing is the depth of emotion I’m feeling.

It’s not all happy emotions; some are so empathetic I can hardly bear all the feels…

…but at least I am fully ALIVE.

And for that, I’m incredibly grateful. First of all, I consider all of the poor souls suffering in sickness right now. The many who have died a victim to this deadly virus and who have sadly made their transition in the solitude social distancing demands.

I may be a bit of a hot mess right now. But I am healthy and alive.

Second, stuff that normally gets a pass or rolls off my back now instigates a full-blown experience. This amplified state of emotions REQUIRES examination. There’s no ignoring the rage, depression, anxiety, or vitriol. It must be inspected because ain’t no way I want those ugly tenants hanging out in my psyche.

So, being at home with me and my hormones has been an adventure of epic proportions.

We’re two weeks in and the science says it’ll take six to eight to be free.

Please send Mark your prayers and well-wishes.

His path to sainthood is almost assured as he quietly and calmly observes this circus of a roommate as she mines the depths of despair. Only to be perfectly fine minutes later when distracted by a ludicrous episode of Tiger King.

More on adventures and an interesting new Word of the Weeks!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bf8EAgM3ti8

Love to each of you. Stay well!

xoxoxoxo

Brenda

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Being Present is a Present

It’s challenging to remain PRESENT when the phone attached to me at all times pings with alerts, updates and breaking news.

My goal has been to disengage from electronics and really BE with the people in my space.

Enter Elvira.

Actually, I have peacefully coexisted with this lovely woman for my almost two years at Cityside; have ridden countless elevators with her and her husband and even exchanged odd pleasantries*, yet never knew her name. (*Elvira has been known to blurt, “How do you wear a bra with that?” or other off-putting questions to literal strangers…like me.)

I never knew her name because I never asked.

Always headed to a meeting, to beat a deadline, or simply to get dinner underway, I rarely stopped to truly TALK to this woman.

But now that I am soon leaving Cityside and the Word of the Weeks, PRESENCE, has been knocking at my heart, I let our most recent chance meeting evolve into an actual conversation.

Elvira speaks like a Russian princess. Her husband, appropriately named Boris, remains at her side with a lovely little terrier-type dog at his feet. They have settled into the ease of older age and enjoy apartment living, the Saturday brunches where the entire complex gathers and even attend all of the wellness sessions hosted here.

Which included one taught by me, “Raise Your Vibe at Cityside.

I expected the millenials and my vibe-conscious contemporaries to be present, but the first to grab seats were Elvira and Boris.

These 80-somethings came prepared to take notes, nodded throughout the presentation and asked great questions afterward. None, thankfully, about wearing a bra.

When we met in the elevator this past week, I mentioned that come Memorial Day Weekend I’d be moving out. When she learned that Mark and I had purchased a home she exclaimed in her gutteral accent, “Goot! You young people need space!”

I would love her forever for referring to us, 55 and 59, as young.

She and Boris had been quite accomplished in her home country, but coming to America, she was only able to clean houses. I don’t know what they ended up doing for their livelihoods, but it turned out great for them. They live well; their children come to visit and they go to visit them. I hear her hearty laugh and Boris’ quiet and supportive presence is always felt. Their dog adores them.

They are examples of a life lived well.

I wonder who you may pass by every day, yet never stop for a little chat.

If you allow yourself to be present, they might touch your heart, like Elvira did mine.

Now put that cell phone down for my closing thoughts on PRESENCE and the new WOW!:

https://youtu.be/CRqsH71cBi4

Oh, darlings! What adventures will we find these next two weeks???

I will be in Santorini, Greece and will MISS – for the first time ever – issuing a new WOW on April 28th. This little hiatus will continue until I come back in May for a Mother’s Day post on Sunday, May 12th. Almost a whole month of ADVENTURING!

Have fun, everyone!

Love,
Brenda

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