Sometimes the next step seems as clear as mud.
I’ve been considering the ebb and flow of life and how clarity comes in moments built upon moments. And the preceding moments aren’t often pretty.
Confusion, dismay, disappointment, regret, angst – in the muddy periods when it’s a dog eat dog world and you’re wearing Milkbone underwear (thank you, Cheers, for one of the best TV show lines of all time), it can feel like nothing will EVER change.
You trudge along, sticking to the glue-like mud. The rain pours down and so do the tears. You catch a glimpse of your longed-for destination way down the road and wonder if you’ll ever get there.
But you keep putting one foot in front of the other. Or at least stepping up and down so as not to sink into the quagmire. Because you’re no quitter, and even in your dark spaces, there’s a glimmer of hope that says, “You’re gonna make it.”
Yep. You’re gonna make it.
You know why?
Because love never fails, and you are dearly loved.
Oh, you may not feel so much like it right now, with your snotty nose and tear-stained cheeks and really bad hair day.
But you are dearly loved.
Love surrounds you. And as long as you keep voting with love (and not its evil arch-enemy, fear), the clouds are going to part. The sun will break through.
You’ll realize your destination is closer than you ever imagined as you dejectedly trudged through the mud.
When I made my desperate move in June 2017, I had 48 hours to find a place to live, hire movers, get an attorney and set up a new life.
There was a narrow path, but it was clear, and I took it.
So often, after you make your grand move, it’s like all the grace and space collapses and suddenly, you wonder, “What am I DOING?”
Will I make it? Will I crumble?
A bold move is often followed up with a swift kick in the gut.
Don’t take your cue from the kick.
There were days when I howled crying from loneliness and anxiety. I missed my beautiful house. I missed my lovely little Shasta. I missed and mourned for the love I once had shared with my husband.
I questioned my sanity.
But the passage of time did some miraculous things. It caused me to fall to my knees and ask the questions of a lifetime…questions borne of a desperate desire to NOT replicate the mistakes that brought me to this place.
The hard questions ushered in answers that spring-boarded me to a new way of looking at life…and a new capacity to attract good because finally, I WAS good.
I say all of this to say, “Hang in there.” Clarity WILL come. Keep slogging away. When the clouds part, your path will become clear – and you’ll be ready for that step because of the valuable life lessons learned in the quagmire.
More on that, and a new WOW, coming right up!
Oh, to be a bigger person. I look forward to giving everyone a big break – including myself – in the coming two weeks.
Much love to you all!